So I have known my best friend for a year and a half, ever since eighth grade. I've been doubting my sexuality for A long time and only realized I was a lesbian in October. In September my friend told me that she thought she was bi and i came up with the courage to tell her that i was pretty sure i was gay. Ever since then we've stuck together and tried to help each other figure everything out. Even at this point i'm still the only one who knows about her (she wants to come out but her parents are extremely homophobic). After we told each other we were still really close, hugging a lot, saying "i love you" a lot, sleeping with our heads in each other's laps. And a little while ago, when we were talking about coming out, she suggested that we pretend we're dating to make the process easier. And i think that i really have a crush on her (i wouldn't really know, considering i'm 15 and have never really had a crush on anyone before) and i've been wondering if she feels the same. But i wish i could know for sure. I imagine us dating and kissing and all of the cutesy stuff couples do. And i've always wanted to kiss a girl (you have no idea how much i regret my first kiss being a boy) and im just not sure how i feel, or how she feels or anything anymore... and i've been really depressed for a while about this and it's pushing us apart. I just want to know something for sure... anything you can say would be a big help. :help:
First, I wanna tell you : Do NOT depress about it! It's only gonna make matters worst ! I do understand that being in the unknown is tough, believe me, but, you shouldn't let it get to you too much... I can unfortunately not tell you if she is or is not really into you. no one here can...but you say you are not sure anymore how you feel...you say you want to be a couple..you seem to be a little confused but it is perfectly normal! I know you do not want to loose the awesome friendship you guys have by telling her how you feel if she doesn't reciprocate. But, maybe there would be a less direct way... you said she suggested you guys pretend to be a couple, maybe you could use that excuse.. ask her if she would actually WANT you guys to date... I'd suggest you'd wait for the others advice as well before doing a move, as by putting everyone's ideas together you might find your own way. Also, you say you regret your first kiss...believe me darling, lots of people do, me included... but the society, as well as film industry, makes it seems like it's the most important moment of your life or almost...it's not... I never really enjoyed kisses before I met my present girlfriend.. I'd find them...okay..just basically saliva and...yeah.. BUT when I kissed her!!! when feelings are there, you'll consider it the most important one and you'll forget about the actual, timeline speaking, "first" as it is soooooooooo wonderful ! fireworks and all! I promise you... So don't think too much about that either... I think you have enough on your mind already
