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Is it bad to feel that I want to get far away from my dad?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by PalestrinaMX, Dec 22, 2013.

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  1. PalestrinaMX

    PalestrinaMX
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    Growing up I had a very bad relationship with my dad. He was an angry person, and would always take his anger out on me. He would always make me feel bad, and say degrading things to me any chance he got. I tried to avoid him at all costs, ate dinner before or after my parents. Things like that.

    He started changing around the time I was 20, so not that long ago. He apologized and said he knows he wasn't the best dad.

    I still feel resentment towards him. Like for many school was hell, and the last thing I wanted/needed was to go home to an angry dad.

    To him having a good relationship with him is saying "How was your day" That is literally the only thing we say to each other all day, if that. He said so himself, he says that he is used to up being like that, and basically said it was as good as it was going to get. I'm used to it, I rather continue like that than fake it.

    I'm 22 and still live at home while I am in school, and I can't afford to move out since my job is the only thing paying for school.

    I just can't help but feel bad when thoughts like "I can't wait to get away from him" or "I don't like him" cross my mind. It actually makes me feel terrible to feel that :/ It hurts me to feel that way about my dad.
     
    #1 PalestrinaMX, Dec 22, 2013
  2. resu

    resu
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    I am in a similar situation, right now at home with my parents. My dad has been unemployed for over a year, and now I feel he's pathetic than mainly anger when I was younger. Trust me, it will help when you're finally independent.

    I show tough love for him in pushing him to try new applications for jobs or at least exercising for his multiple health conditions.
     
    #2 resu, Dec 23, 2013
    Last edited: Dec 23, 2013
  3. Silenthe

    Silenthe
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    I hated my dad growing up too. Same reasons: he was always so angry, and I'm a really sensitive person, so hated getting yelled at for no reason, it seemed. So I went two hours away for college when I was 19. By leaving, our relationship improved 100%. He realized how much he loved me and spoiled me when I came home from breaks. So our stories are slightly similar: dads changing when we were 20ish. But after I came at as trans, tension has increased again.

    I don't think you should feel guilty about having those thoughts, because, hey, it's the truth. Things will probably get better once you've got your own space.

    I'm going home to work for the whole month of January, and already, I dread being in the same house with him. Seems as though there's only enough room for one macho ego in that house, because other than him, I get along fantastic with my mom and sisters.

    Best of luck finishing school and finding your own space.
     
    #3 Silenthe, Dec 23, 2013
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