1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

My friend doesn't understand depression at all

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by RainyViolinist, Dec 24, 2013.

  1. RainyViolinist

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 26, 2013
    Messages:
    145
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    New Jersey
    Hey guys,

    So I have this friend. She's nice and all, but last night over a group chat wit other friends through text, she was saying really ignorant things about depression. She'd say things like, "Who cares if you're depressed, just ignore it," and "There are children suffering in third world, why are you complaining?" among other just really upsettingly ignorant things. She doesn't understand how a depressed person thinks and therefore believes that you can ignore it and just live life, which as those who do have depression know is utter BS. The worst part is she claims to know what depression is and how serious it is when she clearly doesn't. I've been recovering from depression, and to hear her say thise things upset me a lot. What can I do to explain to her how hurtful and ignorant her words are, and how can I explain how depression works to her because I've tried but it's not clicking with her.
     
  2. fortheloveoflez

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 4, 2013
    Messages:
    478
    Likes Received:
    2
    One can really only know what they experience. The rest is just guess work.

    You can remind her that you know that there are people "who have it worse in third world countries" but that clearly doesn't help and if it was that easy to get over it then you would have gotten over it by now. I think you need to remind her of one word: EMPATHY. Ask her to be empathetic and remind her that just because she doesn't have depression it doesn't mean it's not a real thing.

    Best of luck!
     
  3. Yurian

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 9, 2013
    Messages:
    17
    Likes Received:
    0
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I've been dealing with depression myself, so I know that it hurts when people tell you that you have no "right" to feel the way you do. And it's a terrible argument, because if you look at it that way, there will always be someone who has it worse. That doesn't in any way change the fact that you, as a depressed person, are going through a really hard time and could use her support and understanding. There are a lot of great sources about depression and other mental illnesses online, anything from facts to comics and posters. Maybe you could find some and ask her to look at them?
    In any case, you should try to explain to her that depression is a very real thing. I mean, it messes with your ability to be HAPPY! If that isn't serious, I don't know what is. I've broken bones before and been happy. I've had a terrible flu and been happy. But when my depression was worse, it was like a huge shadow was cast over everything I ever did. Depression can also be really hard to fight, because a lot of people lose track of why they're feeling the way they do, if there even is a reason. It's really crucial to be able to share how you're feeling with your friends, and gaining their understanding. I'm sure your friend would also be able to see that if you helped her learn more about it:slight_smile: