Okay so i recently wrote about how i broke things off with an emotionally abusive partner a week ago, and though i've been coping fairly well, trying to stay independent, build my self-esteem, set boundaries, etc. it has come to my attention that my ex has gotten kicked out of her house (b/c her parents found out about our relationship and they are very religious). She is now (*hug*)currently living with one of my best friends from 6th grade (and i am now 20, we have known each other a long time.) I told my friend i didn't want her to feel put in the middle and that of course i would not stop their friendship but now my friend is pressuring me to talk to my abusive ex. Though she tells me i have a tendency to cut people off cold turkey as a friend i have a duty to at least be there for my ex as a friend. hearing this, i feel crazy! that this is ridiculous. my friend doesn't know what i've experienced! that my ex can be charming, like all abusers and when she decides to come out of the closet now, with no clear plan, no money set aside, essentially homeless and I'm supposed to comfort her again? when she was too much of a coward to come out during our 3 year relationship? Am i insensitive? I really do not feel i can be friends with a person who was so manipulative and made me miserable on purpose. Is my close friend right? What should i do? ANy and all advice is so greatly appreciated. merry holidays to all (*hug*)
You are completely justified in feeling that way and that is something I would bring up with your friend. While I advise against going out of your way to avoid the people that have hurt you because you haven't really moved on until you are able to face them without returning to the emotions you previously felt, being pressured to be best friends with them is an entirely different story.
IMO , U don't have to help her because she hurt u But If u did u will be a great person . I see that Forgiveness is much better than Hatred .
