Ok so the title says it all really. I know they are just friends now, and they only talk on the phone, they very rarely meet irl anymore, but I can't get over my jealousy. They talk a few times each week and even today on Christmas Day. They talk about pretty personal stuff too, but then they do know everything about eachother. Even though there aren't any romantic feelings between them anymore (at least from my gf's side), I still sometimes feel inferior to this woman just because of their history. Is this type of thing common in lesbian relationships?
From what I know it is pretty common for lesbians to be friends with exs or people they have hooked up with. This can often cause problems. Have you talked to her about it? If not do, just in a non-accusatory way. You do not want her to feel threatened. It is possible for exs to be friends but it usually depends on the situation. If it makes you feel that uncomfortable than bring it up with her, I am sure she will understand. Hope this helps!
It feels like the L Word with everyone having some sort of history with eachother Thanks. I have spoken to her about it a number of times and she just reassures me every time. I guess I'll just have to live with it, I can't control who she's friends with and nor would I want to.
I think jealousy is a natural feeling, and everyone feels it. I've always found that admitting it to myself and talking about my "jealous" feelings helped me control it better. It's good that you talked to her about it and I think it's great that you're not the type of person who would want to influence who she's friends with. I think the only thing to do is ask yourself if you trust her, and as long as the two of you are always honest with each other, it will be ok. Jealously is never easy to deal with, but it sounds like you're handling it in the right way.
i think it is common for a lot of women, but it depends on how they ended. im not friends with any of my exs becuase i just cant be. i want to move on and forget, rather than stay friends. have you spoekn to her about how you feel? are you feeling jealous becuase you think she pays more attention to her ex rather than you? if so talk to her and tell her your feelings but like someone said dont influence her descision on who shes friends with etc EDIT: just read you have spoken well i guess the feelings will subside the more you get comfortable in your relationship
Thanks guys I don't think she pays more attention to her ex than me, it's more the closeness and connection they still have, even though it's platonic. They were always arguing etc as a couple but they get along much better as friends. I do trust her too, we are very open with each other.
