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Long distance relationship

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by kylegf2011, Dec 25, 2013.

  1. kylegf2011

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    So I met a guy last month, we went out a couple of times and it was amazing, but he left for two months to work. We´ve been texting, but sometimes I feel as time passes he is getting bored with me, like at first he would use alot of smiley faces and stuff, and now he doesn´t, or he takes alot longer to answer.

    Im afraid Im the only one feeling something anymore. I don´t know if its insecurity or something, but I can´t really talk about it with anybody, so it just builds up and sometimes I feel very sad and alone.

    So I just wanted to talk about it with you guys. Do you think this guy stopped being interested in me? Or am I just overreacting? Also, I have these mood swings, like he will answer one day really really nicely and I feel very happy, and then he will not answer as nice and I feel very sad or frustrated :confused:

    Any advice you can give me I will really appreciate, thank you :slight_smile:
     
  2. TJ

    TJ
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    My boyfriend told me to tell you this:
    "TJ did that when we started."

    When I did that to him, I wasn't disinterested.
    The thing was that I was so comfortable with him, that I felt like he wouldn't be mad at me if I lightened up on the smileys or took longer to respond. He later explained his concern to me, so I stopped, but I never intended to show disinterest.

    It's of course different for every couple, but you can always just talk to him. Be like, "So do you wanna go on some dates when you get back?" or something like that.
     
    #2 TJ, Dec 25, 2013
    Last edited: Dec 25, 2013
  3. franc

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    Why don't u ask ur guy instead? It may just be all in your mind. I lost a guy once when I stopped texting him thinking he no longer wants me to text when he really was just very busy.
     
  4. Chip

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    Kyle, one of the toughest things when you're struggling with your own self worth is constantly over-analyzing the other person's intentions, because there's a part of you that worries that you don't deserve your boyfriend, or aren't good enough, or something like that. And it's a double edged sword because nobody wants an overly clingy boyfriend either.

    I think TJ gave you great advice. Talk to him. Not in a "You still love me, don't you" way, but in an honest, authentic, vunerable way.

    I don't know if this is something you'd feel comfortable with, but maybe something like "I struggle a bit with my own self esteem, and so I read all these things into your texts, which may not have any truth, but it would mean a lot to just talk about what I'm feeling and what you're feeling so I could know where we are."

    The very best thing you can do in any healthy relationship is communicate openly and honestly. Unfortunately, that's often the scariest thing to do (for both parties) because it requires each of you to be willing to be vulnerable and talk about feelings, neither of which are territory that most anybody wants to go into, but territory that's absolutely necessary for healthy communications and healthy relationships.