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BF left me for another long distance relationship

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by john81, Dec 26, 2013.

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  1. john81

    john81
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    Location:
    Kuala Lumpur Malaysia
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
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    A few people
    I have been in a long distance relationship (inter country) with this guy for 1.5 year. Although we only meet a handful of times, but we enjoyed for each time we were together. We talked over the phone weekly and skype too to maintain the relationship.

    a month ago, i told him i would be on business trip and would visit him. He revealed to me that he had met someone and would want to end our relationship but instead be replaced by a long everlasting friendship. He said he still keep me a special place in his heart.

    I was totally in pain after that. i won't be that upset if he find someone from the vicinity and to live a new life together or should he be back to his ex who had been in relationship with him for 7 years. To my dismay, the new guy is from another country too. My BF met him this March and he revisit him again in July when he went over to attend his friend wedding. They get serious after that!

    He told me he don't have the feeling for me as it's for the new guy. I feel so hurt and unfair that why he didnt give me a chance to work on our relationship before he got serious with the new guy.

    Still, i flew over to meet him and hope to reconcile with him. He still treated me very well, and we still slept together and have the intimate time together. The day i left, he still hold his hand round my waist and seemed reluctant to see me leave.

    After i am back, he insisted we should be friends. I realised how much i love him when he wanted to break up with me. I don't blame him completely for that as i know both sides should take the blames when the relationship go sour.

    He will be flying to him his new guy again next Feb and go travel together. I tried to let go and move on but i couldn't.

    Anyone experience this before?

    Should i keep being friend with him and wait for him to return to me? Can i still get him back? i really hope we can get back together. I try not being needy and control myself not to text him often coz i'm really scared he will get tired of me.

    I hate to admit but i do need help...
     
    #1 john81, Dec 26, 2013
  2. redsoxgrl34

    redsoxgrl34
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    I have had too many experiences similar to this. If you would like to hear the honest truth, he is not worth it. You may love him now, but he doesn't treat you the way you deserve. He is consumed with himself and his needs. I can see that even after he had said he had decided to be with someone else he was still intimate with you but doesn't that say something about him using you? It will probably take you a while to get over him, but in my opinion you should find someone who loves you for you and wouldn't hurt you like he did. If someone truly loves you and cares about you, they will treat you far better than that. I hope this helps. Best of luck!
     
    #2 redsoxgrl34, Dec 26, 2013
  3. Kgirl

    Kgirl
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    I think at this point it's unfortunately over, at least at the moment. If you force yourself to cut back on the communication, he may realise he was taking you for granted but either way you'll soon find that you stop missing him.

    I am also in a LD relationship and it really does take a huge amount of commitment from both parties .
     
    #3 Kgirl, Dec 26, 2013
  4. Daydream Harp

    Daydream Harp
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    If I understood this correctly:

    In that he slept with you after breaking up with you and being with this other guy, is that so? If he really did that it seems to me like he might be rather unreliable and I would say to not sit around and wait for him even if he did change his mind, as that would probably mean he would be just as likely to change his mind again when back.

    It might be difficult right now, but from what you told us it seems your best bet would be to try and move on and find someone else. Keep the friendship going if you can and feel it's okay for you to just be friends by all means though.
     
    #4 Daydream Harp, Dec 26, 2013
  5. bingostring

    bingostring
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    This does not sound a good arrangement (for you) ..

    If you can find a real person to fall in love with in your city .. this pain will be gone forever

    (*hug*)
     
    #5 bingostring, Dec 26, 2013
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