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Those impersonal holiday/Christmas cards

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Tightrope, Dec 26, 2013.

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  1. Tightrope

    Tightrope
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    Ok, so we've all got those friends who automatically send their Christmas cards, presigned, the detailed letter of their family's every last blowing of their noses, with no extra notes, which are met with a simple and personalized card on your behalf.

    If these people are once-a-year friends, who you went to school with or had a job together earlier in your career, who you haven't seen in YEARS, and will probably never see again, would you sever ties by not keeping this volley going? These cards almost heighten the hollowness of the friendship at this point in time.

    Have you had this happen or does it happen? What do you do about it?
     
    #1 Tightrope, Dec 26, 2013
  2. Data

    Data Guest

    I personally never send Christmas cards, and neither does my mom. We always get them from my aunts and they're always just a few lines about enjoying Christmas. The pictures are nice, but that's all.

    I talk to my friends on the phone regularly, so I don't feel the need to send a card or sum up the year. They are all the type of friend that I could stop calling, wait a year, and then pick up the phone like it was just yesterday I talked to them last. That's just how I am.

    I see Christmas cards as wasted postage...
     
    #2 Data, Dec 26, 2013
  3. sam the man

    sam the man
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    I think I might sever ties. I don't know if i would, but the thought would cross my mind. It's interesting to see what's going in on their life, but when they're so distant it's not that interesting. It hardly seems like the effort when all you're doing is at best exchanging niceties and at worst (closer to how it is a lot of the time) going along with the whole christmas thing in a somewhat mechanical "sending cards is what you do at christmas therefore I will send a card". Now if the letter had something along the lines of "we should meet up sometime" I'd think differently, but yeah.

    The whole sending cards for the sake of it really makes a mockery of the whole idea for me. We were talking about it at a christmas party I was at, and tbh I'd much rather receive a well thought-out email or twitter message or whatever than a card that's barely worth my while reading. I'd rather people sent me personal stuff because they want to and not because it's just what people do. I don't care what format it's in or who it's from as long as it's done because the author wanted me to see it and it's at least somewhat thoughtful.

    So based on that, yes I probably wouldn't bother perpetuating the rally of meaningless cards and focus instead on my circle who're sending me stuff because they're my friends.
     
    #3 sam the man, Dec 26, 2013
  4. Tightrope

    Tightrope
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    I see what you are saying. He exchanges cards with me and my parents. At the time, he was a really good friend and we studied together a lot. He now has a family. The letters read about his kids being very rigid and being into everything and being the best at everything. I'm happy for them, but "big yawn." The last time I saw him, he yelled at his kids for minutia, and they began to cry, as did his wife. I was very uncomfortable and said "come on, it wasn't a big deal, let's cheer it up" to defuse this weirdness. When I used Facebook more, he was very pro-Romney and I was very anti-Romney, though we didn't exchange any words, comments, or likes. In the interim, I did e-mail him with something unrelated to politics but, rather, related to college, and he did a quick brush off, albeit diplomatic. I may end the cycle with 2014. I doubt I will ever see them again, given the U.S. is so large and where he lives is neither a tourist destination nor a place you'd likely change planes.
     
    #4 Tightrope, Dec 28, 2013
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