I met a guy on the internet last year that I deeply fell in love with. Long story short, we eventually became boyfriends. This was a long distance relationship (he lives in Missouri in America and I live in the United Kingdom). Anyway, I noticed he was becoming less affectionate to me, and one day he told me he had something to tell me. "I don't know if I want to be gay forever". I was heartbroken... He said he has a really strong bond with his family, and he didn't want his relationship with them to go down the drain because he was gay. I broke up with him after it seemed like no conclusion was going to be reached. It's been 4 months since then and still nothing. We still love each other a lot... well at least I think so. It's hard to tell because when I say I want a life with him it seems like he ignores it :/ He tells me he loves me though... but never talks about our future. I'm stuck in some sort of limbo here... and It's making me really upset and depressed. I love him so much and just want to be with him ._. What should I do? >_< Do I just wait and hope things will work out? I don't know if I want to move on because he means so much to me :c
I am afraid that there is not much you can do. How old are you? I mean, do you feel like you really "need" to look for a life partner? Sometimes I think that every happy day counts. If you are happy with him, great. Maybe you won't be together in ten years. So? Who knows what happens tomorrow? If you are happy... Hmm?
There's nothing wrong with not "moving on" and "getting back out there" right away if you don't want to - it sounds like you were hurt by the experience, so it's okay to take some time to recover. But it does sound like you're still in frequent contact with him, which might be making it hard not to think about him, or develop new thoughts or feelings outside of your relationship with him. Plus, he's being receptive to you telling him you still love him (in other words, he lets you say it and accepts the sentiment), which probably gives you hope, whether he means it that way or not. From what you've described, he has some soul searching to do regarding his own orientation and his family. This may be something you can help with, or it may not be. How often are you in touch with him? Perhaps you could cut down on the amount of time you two talk now and set up a specific regular time to talk during the week (an hour on Sundays, or whatever); this might help by, a) giving you two more time to come to terms with your own thoughts and feelings, and b) making it easier for you both to prepare yourselves emotionally for being in touch, since you seem to want different things from each other at the moment.
I'm 17. I am happy with him... really happy. I talk to him every day. I talked to him yesterday and he said that he wants to be in a relationship with me but social stigma and his family may prevent it. He's scared of how his family will react, because they talk horrible things of gay people.
