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Boyfriend and his short temper

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Chickzak, Dec 28, 2013.

  1. Chickzak

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    I'm currently in a relationship with a guy who's a great guy and we get on so well but:

    He's very short tempered. It doesn't take long before he gets annoyed and he does't talk to me when he's annoyed. He just goes silent in his messaging or the phone. I'm not quite sure what to think.

    I've explained he should talk to me so we can deal with the problem but he's explained he never wants to hurt my feelings or make me sad in any kind of way

    I'm not quite sure how to handle it- I'm in love with the guy so have no intention of breaking up with him and I know the feeling is mutual but I dont know how I can explain in better words that he should talk to me about his problems before getting angry.

    The biggest issue is when he get annoyed with me and sincehe doesn't talk to me I get annoyed with him and hours pass before we talk to each other. Or sometimes the case if, he explains the situation but since the issue is so minor, I get annoyed. And I dont want to talk to him.

    Ah, Im npt sure if I've explained the problem well enough for you all to understand but pls advise how I can encourage him to talk to me more and not lose get annoyed / lose him temper so quickly.

    Thanks EC =]
     
  2. resu

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    Tell him he's hurting your feelings by what he's doing now. He shouldn't completely ignore you. It sounds like he has trust issues with being open with you, especially if you disregard the topic as minor and an annoyance.
     
  3. Castlekidd

    Castlekidd Guest

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    I have ashort temper too and if I was going out with someone and when I have been I didn't want to talk to them in case I looked weak. If he's like me the best thing you can do is give him a hug and let him know your there for him even if you don't know why your being there for:slight_smile: when he's ready he may open up but just make him feel supported is all I can say and definitely do not force it.
    Hope it helps!
     
  4. CharlieHK

    CharlieHK Guest

    That's very passive-aggressive of him. Explain to him that it's hurting your feelings. You seem like you want a solution, not to be thrown in the dark because he got ticked.

    @Castlekidd I don't know who you have dated, but every action has a reaction, treating your significant other coldly doesn't obligate them (or in any way motivate them) to be warm in response. That doesn't logic in the slightest.
     
  5. Castlekidd

    Castlekidd Guest

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    Maybe it came across wrong, hasty reply.
    My point was dont push someone to open up before they are ready because it could push them away depending how you get your point across. Be supportive and don't force it, sure let them know how you feel but it could be something deeply personal they aren't ready to share...I don't know the situation but that's my advice. Is there something going on at home maybe?
    If you still think its bad advice fair enough but that's what I would want if I wasn't ready to share yet.
    P.s. how new is the relationship?
    Also it's not how you act when your upset that obligates support it's how you act when they are upset.
     
  6. Chickzak

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    Thanks for your replies both.
    Casthekidd -No, I fully understand what you mean. In some case its definitely easiest to shut everyone out until you're ready to disclose your feelings or thoughts. I don't think that's strange at all.

    No, I dont think there's anything going on at home. He trusts me enough to discuss this with me. It's just his lack of responses when I talk to him sometimes or how he acts distant from me sometimes.

    I've mentioned it before, I'm in love with the guy and the feeling is mutual, its just I dont understand him sometimes; it happens sometimes and I know well enough that it wears off quick, but I just dont understand why he's in that shott lasting mood.

    For anyone else, I've known him for 2ish years.