Most recently, I've come to the realization that my mom could be potentially homophobic. I've come out twice, but gave up recently because no matter what I said, my mom didn't believe me. She seems to treat it like a phase, and anytime I bring up anything relating to LGBT she gets uncomfortable. She thinks that it's flaunting it if someone is open about their relationships and when I was with a girl, it was never mentioned. She pretended I wasn't in a relationship...but I was and was taking my relationship at that time seriously. And when I thought about how I was when I was with a girl versus when my guy friend and I attempted to date, I admitted to myself that I was a lot more comfortable and wasn't passive in a relationship when dating a girl. Since I've been out of that relationship, I find that my mom pretends that it never happened. And then any time I bring up my views about LGBT she gets upset and then I try to remind her that I'm not straight and she gets defensive(I've known about my interest in women since I was 18-19, but didn't come to terms with it until I was 23. It was pretty obvious as early as my middle school years but I kept brushing it off) But with her attitude, I continually find that when I'm not home I'm more confident and determined and everything. I don't question myself, I just relax and go with the flow. But when I'm around her I get nervous and scared and any time I stand up for myself on anything it gets messy. Does anyone have any advice for how to deal with this situation?
Well, you've done your bit really. You've told her. It's on her to just deal with it now. You shouldn't feel you have to justify it to her, if she wants to live in some fantasy world then let her. Unless she starts bringing up things like "So when are you going to get a boyfriend" then you COULD just leave it.
There's nothing much you can do now. Honestly, you kinda just gotta wait it out now. IF she can't deal with it, that's her problem. IF she starts saying heteronormative stuff, then confront her about it, but unless she does that, she has to deal with it on her own.
