Hey guys, I'm really tired that I cannot reveal my sexual orientation. I have not revealed to a single soul yet. I'm scared that they will judge me. I realized that I was gay when I was about 12 years old. I didn't believe and couldn't accept it. Now I'm still questioning whether I am really gay or not. I am a Catholic and my family is rather religious. Coming from a Chinese family and being the only male child in the family, being a gay child doesn't really seem like an option to me. My family is always talking about me marrying a wife and having babies. Hearing this kind of ticks me off but there is nothing I can do about it. I just go along with them until the conversation kind of ends. Their hope of me having a child weighs my guilt a lot because I cannot bear to hurt my grandparents who are so looking forward to a grandchild. If I reveal that I'm gay, I'm afraid that they cannot take it. Sigh it's so tiring. Sometimes I just wish I were dead. It's much more convenient that way. There are also times when my sisters like to tease me, saying that I'm gay cause I do not dare to touch insects even with a tissue. I can't help it, I really hate insects. I really kind of get irritated by their teasing and am tempted to spill the beans but I can't bring myself to it. Also, I'm scared of hurting my parents' heart. They expect much of me being the only boy in the family. I'm sort of afraid of my father as well because he is rather strict and violent I may say. I'm scared that if I reveal, he might chase me out. As I said, we are a catholic family and homosexuality is like a sin in a sense. I am also afraid of how others will react to me if they know that I am gay. I'm really really scared. Please help me All in all, I'm really tired and lonely, not being able to share anything about my sexual orientation with my family. :icon_sad:
I don't really have any experience with this, so all I can say is that I'm sorry this has stumped you But there are people here who can help you and give you advice They will post soon
Well it has to happen eventually, right? You don't have to rush it. The main question you should ask before you come out is "Am I ready?". If you are then you just have to do it. There is no easy magical solution that's gonna make it all disappear and holding it all in is just gonna make it worse. From what I heard Catholicism is one of the more tolerant religions when it comes to homosexuality in relation to other branches of Christianity. What does she think of the new pope? Are they openly and extremely homophobic? Do you have any close friends you could stay with if they do kick you out? Anyone to talk to? If you don't feel ready, don't feel obligated to come out just because you figured everything out. Give it some time if you've just realized you're gay. And btw how old are you?
I'm 15 this year 2013. I know I've got to wait until I'm ready. It's just that I don't know when I ever will. I'm just you know lost and uncertain? Sometimes I'm annoyed with myself for being such a weakling but I can't help it. I don't feel like I can trust my secret with anyone, not in my family. I'm scared.
You said you father is violent. Please please please don't come out unless you are absolutely sure you will not be physically harmed or kicked out. You know who you are and that's what's important. Have you thought about coming out to a close friend? My friends are like my sisters and have provided allot of support. I know how tough it was for me when no one knew about my sexuality, I felt very alone. Please know that you are not alone (*hug*) And if you ever need to talk feel free to message me And it is true what they say, it does get better! ---------- Post added 30th Dec 2013 at 12:04 PM ---------- And try not to worry too much that you'll disappoint your family. If they love you, they'll want you to be happy. You can't waste your life away trying to please everyone else, you have to be true to yourself.
Yes, it may be best to wait until you're an adult and independent of you family before coming out. My family are Indian and very traditional Catholics, and I often had the same guilt being an only child (oldest grandchild on my maternal side) who "should be" married. While my parents never talked much about homosexuality, I didn't feel comfortable until recently when I moved far away for graduate school. If anything, just listen to what Pope Francis is saying. While he still follows the church teaching against "homosexual acts", he has been pretty clear against homophobia.
Don't come out yet. Wait until you're independent of your family (ie. college, living independently, financially stable). The worst case scenario would be that they kick you out, and that would be best avoided Good luck man, I hope this works out for you. If you can't take the pressure come out to a close friend. Unless you're me. Then backtrack everything you've done xP But seriously, friends are dabomb.com
