I'm a 13 year old pansexual girl. I haven't had any real relationships before, but lately i've found myself wanting a female partner. There isn't much physical or sexual desire behind it, as i am asexual as well as pansexual, so it seems as though i solely want the emotional connection. I have a couple problems though. First, the lack of dating experience. I have no idea how to tell someone I like them or to ask them out on a date. Second, i haven't come out to anybody about my sexuality, so none of the girls i would potentially date know that i would potentially date them. All in all, i have no idea what i'm doing. :help: To sum it up, what i want to know is, once i've come out to my friends, how could i find a girl who'd be willing to date another girl? And what should i do if i start to have feelings for one of my friends?
You're in a very lucky spot, odd as it may seem. Every generation gets more and more open to different sexualities, and, to me at least, it seems people are coming out sooner and sooner, which is awesome! As far as dating goes, don't sweat over it. The emotional closeness of a relationship are complicated. You seem like a very mature and smart girl, and hoenstly it might take a while for your classmates to reach your level. My advice? Take your time, breathe. From what I can guess you'll be the first one to come out to your friends when the time is right. That will give other the courage to follow suit and you'll find out who is in your dating pool that way. If you have feelings for one of your friends, i'd say be honest, especially if they are or might be in your pool, if you feel the risk if worth it. And honestly, for the sake of honesty and openness, it is just about always worth it for one reason or another. All in all, though, take your time. You're obvious a very smart and clever girl. You'll know.
Geez, with the exception of the girl particular and your age, we have the exact same problem. Unfortunately, middle schoolers neither have the maturity nor the consciousness for the kind of relationship that you're looking for. Hell, even most of the high school kids I know are incapable of that. My recommendation? Find any sort of local GSA group that you can. But, and I hope you don't mind me saying this, you're a bit young for that kind of thing. Perhaps look for a good friend before finding a girl one. Perhaps she'll come from your community's GSA alliance!
