1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Advice needed on how to handle this best!

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by lemmings, Dec 30, 2013.

  1. lemmings

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2013
    Messages:
    4
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    I am 28 and I am doing my second university degree in Britain. One guy who is seven years younger than I am is constantly touching me; placing is hand on my back, his head on my shoulder, moving his hand through my hair or brushing against me, touching my legs with his when sitting next to me and winking, smiling at me, constant prolonged eyecontact... Being Scandinavian myself, I am not really accustomed to being hugged or having my personal space "invaded" like this. And as far as I have seen, he does not do this with anyone else..man or woman, and I have always felt British being polite but reserved. I know he has a girlfriend but his attention makes me wonder if there is something else, especially when he says I am a "beautiful person"??

    I am quite the social retard and bad with reading people.. is this ok? Am I overreacting and he is just affectionate or touchy, or should I minimise our communication as there might be something more. I like him and we can talk for hours, we have alot in common, so I do not want to be rude and hurt his feelings in any way.. still all this makes me feel weird and uneasy around him. He has already offered me to go out for drinks together, and wants to go hiking..and I have not turned him down but I am unsure if i should. Any advice?
     
  2. jimL

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 23, 2011
    Messages:
    606
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Oregon, USA
    If you like him and you can "talk for hours" then it seems as thought there is something there. It's unlikely that he would be running his hand through your hair if he wasn't physically attracted to you. I don't think many straight guys would do that. I say go for a hike with him and see where it goes. Keep and open mind and let it flow....like his hand in your hair. What do you have to lose?

    Let us know how it goes!
     
    #2 jimL, Dec 30, 2013
    Last edited: Dec 30, 2013
  3. lemmings

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2013
    Messages:
    4
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Thanks for your reply! The thing is I am in a serious, long-term relationship for the past few years. I love my boyfriend and I am committed to our relationship. And if this boy is truly into me and hitting on me.. I have to find a way to let him down gently. He is a fantastic person and attractive but I'd like to keep him as a friend if possible and not hurt him. He does deserve better.
     
  4. Foster

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2013
    Messages:
    392
    Likes Received:
    0
    Does this guy know you're gay? When my friends found out I'm gay, they suddenly became more touchy-feely and flirtatious. It's kind of odd, I think straight people just try to mess with our heads :confused: If it makes you feel uncomfortable because you have a boyfriend, just politely tell him to stop. Everyone has boundaries and they need to be respected.