Help me

Does he know you're bi? Are you interested in him? He could be interested in you, but it can be hard to tell. Sometimes guy do things like that while being drunk and don't really mean anything by it.
He could of cause also have a crush on you and like you said, he felt a tad embarrassed about what he did while being drunk. That could be because you two are friends and he's unsure if you're interested in him. If you're interested in him, then yeah, you could try to test the waters with him. But just be sure if you want that and also keep in mind that it could damage your friendship if he's not into you or if he's homophobic. Best of luck!

 

Would you still want to keep it a secret? I'm not sure... Maybe you could bring up something about bi/gay people. And hear what he says, like how his view is on it. Next time you could try to be a little more touchy feely with him. Like gentle touch his arm or shoulder while talking with him, and see how he reacts to it.

Did you guys hold hands while being sober? I thought it was only during drinking? Yeah, then he could be into you. My best advice is to look how he is around other guys. If it's the same as around you, then it's just how he is. If he's different then he might like you.

 

Hey Hippo and welcome to EC!

Rarareva has already given you some pretty good advice, but I just wanted to jump in and add some important things.

First, no one can tell you the sexual orientation of your friend except your friend. Unless he specifically tells you that he's straight, gay, bi, pan, questioning, curious or whatever other label or description he wants to use - then you can't really assume anything. It could be that he's just that way when he starts drinking. Clearly, he has strong feelings for you. However, just because two guys love each other, are affectionate, and desire intimacy with one another does not mean they want a romantic or sexual relationship. That's pretty much the definition of a bromance.

To be clear, I'm not saying he is or is not into you; it's just a giant question mark until he confirms his feelings and orientation to you himself.

Second, you mention that he's coming over, that you'll both be drinking, and that you're looking for a way to "test" him. I want to throw up a giant red flag for you. You're heading into some serious dangerous territory here where things can go bad really quickly. When you're both drinking and inhibitions are down one or both of you may say or do something that you both regret.

Specifically, if he's actually interested in you as more than a friend, and if you are attempting to purposefully create a scenario where he can act on his feelings you may get more than you expect. More directly, I've seen situations like your own where scenarios like this led to them making out or having sex, and the fact that you're both drunk means your decision making abilities are going to be impaired.

If anything happens that really gives you an idea that he's into you and not straight you're courting with serious damage to your friendship. You could be playing with emotions like fear, regret, and shame on his part. Simply telling him it's okay and that you feel the same way after the fact really isn't enough because he could be dealing with a whole lot of internal issues. That's stuff he needs to get sorted out.

You have to be very careful here, and I can't in good conscious recommend that you find a way to "test" him while you're both drinking. The possibility of damaging your friendship is just too high.

Third, the best thing you can do to "test" him is to come out as bisexual. By coming out to him you're telling him everything he needs to know. If he's interested in you then the moment he knows that you aren't straight, he's going to realize that he has a chance. My advice is during this conversation with him discuss how you realized you were bisexual, and then casually ask him if he's ever questioned if he was ever attracted to someone of the same gender. That gives him the opportunity to reveal any potential same sex attractions or thoughts he might have had in the past to you.

This conversation could actually draw you both closer and strengthen your friendship as a result of the honesty. If your friend is sincere in the fact that he loves you, then he'll accept you. If he doesn't accept you then he wasn't sincere in what he said, and he's certainly got some issues of his own that he has to work out.

In the end, by laying your cards on the table and coming out, it's going to open the door for him to talk about his sexual orientation with you. Once he knows you're not straight, that makes you safe to come out too. He may not feel comfortable coming out to you tonight, but the possibility always exists that he may in the future - assuming that he isn't straight, of course.

If you're not prepared to come out to him, then I can't really recommend any other form of test. The reason is that the only way to get the answer you want is to: A) Have him come out to you first. B) Have him make a move on you.

Him coming out to you first is possible, but if he's struggling to accept his sexuality that could take awhile. You don't want to wait forever, so by coming out first you make yourself safe increasing the speed at which he may feel comfortable enough to come out to you (assuming he isn't straight).

Putting him in a position where he makes a move on you will likely backfire in a horrible way. It's too risky for your friendship, and so I can't recommend it.

I hope this helps.

 

Hey!!
First of all, your English is awesome! XD
If you want to test the waters a bit... you could just touch him back whenever he touches you. Keep pushing him and be even more touchy with him
See how he responds. You can also subtly drop hints like telling him he's cute, or asking to go do something together

I think there's a decent possibility that he likes you, but at least he definitely wants to be friends.

 

Hippo -

I would certainly say that your friend is acting like he has an attraction toward you. He certainly looks to be possessive over you like a boyfriend would rather than a friend. This doesn't mean that he's romantically or sexually attracted to you, or that he isn't 100% straight. We can't tell that, and we only know what we know from your perspective.

Trying to say whether or not he's gay, bisexual, or even curious (and then on top of it all: prepared to act on those feelings) is like reading tea leaves. The only way you're going to get the answer you want is to eventually come out to him, which in turn is going to let him know that there is at least an opportunity for something more.

When you come out to him, during the discussion with him, you can talk about how you came to realize that you were bisexual. Then you can just casually ask him whether or not he's ever considered that he wasn't 100% straight. If you do that in the context of that conversation, and if he feels comfortable enough with how things are going - he may also admit that he isn't completely straight.

If he can admit that to you, then there is no need to push things any further with asking whether or not he's attracted to you. Just let the relationship continue on it's current path. Assuming he isn't straight and has come out to you, then suddenly your relationship is more authentic. It will be deeper and you can both share things that you couldn't share before; including more honesty and intimacy.

As things naturally evolve, you can then eventually broach the topic of how you feel about him, and wonder if he returns your feelings. Almost certainly he will say yes at that point, and then you can begin attempting to move from the friendship you have with him to a relationship.

I believe this is the safest and best path forward for you, and the one most likely to result in you both in a relationship. (Again, assuming you're reading him correctly and he isn't 100% straight.)

 

Hippo -

I can't tell you with absolute certainty what is going on in your friends head and what he is feeling. I don't want to mislabel the situation, and give you a false impression - which you then go act on.

However, to answer your question honestly - no, I don't feel that this is normal friend behavior. Considering that it also happens when he drinks and that lowers his inhibitions... Well, my gut instincts tell me that he likely has a crush on you. Whether or not he identifies as LGBT is really a side matter to all of that... it's possible to have feelings for someone of the same sex without identifying as LGBT.

Hell, you could be the first guy he's ever felt this way toward. There are a lot of possibilities, but ultimately my gut instincts tell me that he'd like more than friendship. Sadly, that doesn't mean that he has the courage to actually act on his feelings.

So, like I said - the best possible outcome is for you to come out to him. Whether or not he also comes out to you is unknown, but considering he has feelings for you the opportunity is there. It's just a matter of him having the courage to act on his feelings.

 

Well, I think try not to worry too much and just enjoy the friendship. Come out to him / talk to him when you're ready. Otherwise just see where it goes from there

 

He seems very comfortable around you if he can get really close to you, be all over you and even kiss you. I think if he feels comfortable like this you should be able to be comfortable also He clearly thinks highly of you, regardless of his orientation. Just do what you think is best, and don't be nervous about doing what you need to do
(*hug*)

 

Congratulations. I do hope you told him that you were bisexual as well. How did he react to that news?

 

Oh my goodness!
That's so awesome!!!!!!!!!
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