Chinese Culture?

I'm majoring in Chinese and I know nothing about Chinese history (and i'm not proud of that), but I mean that's like the easies to help, look around on wikipedia?
Same with customs, but I don't think they would cause sooooo much trouble in the relationship as long as you both communicate clearly and don't get offended at the start...Like with opening presents. The Chinese don't open presents in front of those who gave them, and can find it offensive if their presents are opened by the receivers. But even this is changing, especially for the younger generation.

So consider yourself lucky to be able to experience this amazing culture first hand, and I suggest you start studying Chinese, it's extremely useful, and nothing makes it easier than having a Chinese bf..

Good luck!

 

I am neither Chinese nor a gay male, but I am familiar with the customs. One thing that you should remember is that their culture is highly conservative; it's a lot harder to be anything other than straight there. He's likely going to be dealing with a lot more social pressures than you simply because of the high expectations that they have in China. Another thing that you might want to think about is their key values. I can't speak for you Canadians, but in America we value freedom and honesty. In China, honor and respect, in addition to modesty/humility, are prized values, and define much of what they strive for. Hard work and dedication are other things they greatly admire.
History-wise, I think you can mostly research and learn on y our own. The only thing that my Chinese teacher has told me, thus far, that I haven't really heard about one history class or another is that many of the ancient, traditional ways were lost with the rise of Mao Zedong, and that many people who were born and raised in that era grew up without a lot of that culture. Their government is naturally working to restore it as much as possible, but it's still a work in progress. Also, have you ever been to a Chinese New-Year's festival? If not, I highly recommend going. They're lots of fun, and the people are always very nice.
A couple things you should keep in mind: CHINA IS A DIVERSE NATION. They have 56 different ethnic groups, and the difference between North and South China is so great that they have legitimately different words for the same thing (like biscuits v. cookies between Britain and North America). If i could figure out how to type in Mandarin Pinyin, I'd show you what I mean. So, depending on where he's from, there could be a variation on what I'm telling you. A grain of salt and all that.
Honestly though, more than anything else, talk to this guyfriend of yours. I'm sure he'd be more than happy to inform you, and language barrier considered, he could always send you videos or links. I'm sure he's just as curious about your culture as you are his, so this is another bridge that you could build with him. I have a British friend, with whom I bring up our different cultures if ever I run out of things to say to him. If all else fails, Google Translate isn't completely inaccurate. Just don't give it long sentences for it to misconstrue.
Best of luck, good sir!

 

Dunno if they're any good but there's a Culture Smart book that deals with Chinese customs.

Could be worth looking into.

 

I'm Chinese, and a guy, so I can help.
Problem is, my parents are more akin to American liberals than Mainland Chinese.

Back to the subject, though.
I do have some pointers for you.
-Be polite. Chinese culture has a lot of emphasis on respecting one's elders.
-Your boyfriend is most likely Han Chinese. Han Chinese make up the vast majority of the Chinese population. If he's from China, he'll write in the Simplified script of Chinese. If he's from overseas, or something, then he might also use Traditional Chinese.
-Use chopsticks, man.
-Off The Great Wall is a good YouTube channel with a lot of stuff about Chinese culture, and it's pretty damn funny, too! Go check that out.

Fun Fact: Ancient Chinese culture was actually very accepting of homosexuality. That only changed for the worse recently.

 

Oh, also, a fun fact that your guy may find amusing. One of the Chinese terms for homosexuality is Duan Xiu Zhi Pi, or 'Passion of the Cutsleeve.' It was coined by an emperor who didn't want to wake his male lover, and thus cut off the sleeve the lover was clinging to in sleep. Again good luck!

 

Hi Aaron,

I was educated in a Chinese country and my partner of 18 years is Chinese, so I've had some experience. An entire book could be written in response to your question, so I'll just hit a few of what I personally found to be the most important points.

For Chinese guys family is very, very important. Chinese families demand and receive a lot of respect, attention, time and priority. If you are going to date a Chinese man, get used to it. It will always be a factor in your relationship. Chinese families expect their sons to get married to both carry on the family line and to care for the parents in their old age. This is less of a problem in Western countries, where the Chinese parents' expectations have been somewhat moderated, but can still be a source of friction in more traditional families to the point that some Chinese men create marriages of convenience to satisfy their parents, (but continue their male relationships.)

All that being said, I think you will find Chinese families to be welcoming, inclusive and a lot of fun to be with. They will treat you very well.

There are several Chinese holidays that are important and usually celebrated with family; Chinese New Year, Tomb Sweeping Day, and mid-Autumn Festival. The first two might well require a command performance for your boyfriend. I would strongly recommend you find out about the customs and traditions associated with these holidays and participate as much as possible. I think you will find them to be fun once you understand what is going on.

If you are serious about dating this guy in the longer term, it wouldn't hurt to learn a few simple phrases in Chinese. His parents will be wildly pleased. (But try to learn them in the dialect they speak!) Also, ask your friend to take you to some Chinese movies and some REAL Chinese restaurants; not only are they both good, but you can learn a lot about a culture in the dining room and at the cinema.

I could go on, but I don't want to ramble, so if there are any specific areas you'd like me to address, please tell me.

Good luck and have fun!
Milan

 

Haha. It is just as they said. Chinese people like me really value our family a lot. I mean we were taught that way. Being respectful and polite is a must. Oh just a note, Chinese families tend to talk loudly to each other. I mean it's true to my family not sure about the rest. And we value qualities such as humility. So all the best!!