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How to deal with 'It's just a fad'?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Lerenmika, Jan 3, 2014.

  1. Lerenmika

    Regular Member

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    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I came out of the closet at the end of summer last year. The reaction I received was almost entirely positive, except from my stepfather-- we're not talking about it at all and are getting along for the most part, but he's said when I'm not around that he believes I'm just going through a 'fad' and that I'll regret this phase when I'm older. He also thinks I just haven't met the right guy yet.

    I'm understandably upset and hurt by this, especially as my stepfather is someone I get along with and enjoy being around otherwise. I know I can't convince him otherwise right now, and that after a few years pass and my 'phase' hasn't gone away it'll finally dawn on him that no, I like women just as much as he does, but in the meantime... well, it hurts. I hate having to schedule when I can bring someone home to meet my my mother so he's not around to feel 'uncomfortable.' He's not even that religious-- he goes to church, but his objections seem to be more along the grounds that homosexuality's just not 'normal/natural' as opposed to being a sin.

    I hate being treated like I'm some sort of child going through a phase. Coming out was a very long and very difficult process for me, and it's kind of infuriating to have it belittled as nothing more than being a girl who just hasn't found the right man yet.

    I'm sorry if this is kind of incoherent. Usually I try not to let the situation get to me, but other times it really upsets me, and I just felt the need to vent and see if anyone had any similar experiences who might have some advice on dealing with it.
     
  2. BookDragon

    Full Member

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    Location:
    Cambridge, UK
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    You could try asking him what happens if it isn't. Ask him what he'll say if you haven't "grown out of it" in a year, or 5 years. See what he says.

    Either he'll tell you he'd accept it if it went on for that long, in which case you can argue that he can damn well accept it now. OR he'll say that it could STILL be a fad in which case you know he doesn't actually think it's something you'll grow out of he just doesn't like it, in which case he's being a dick and you can ignore him.