I came out to my father and my step-mother about two years ago, and ever since then every time I get sick he thinks I should get an HIV test. Now mind you I do test every 6 months just in case, but my dad has made it a point to say that because I am gay I am more apt to get HIV which really hurts me because that is so not true, and I have tried to tell him that but he will not listen. He did it very recently and it hit me very hard because now it is getting beyond ridiculous. Even my step mother is furious at my dad for saying what he is saying. What do I do? How can I educate my father on this? Or am I just overreacting?
I'd talk to your stepmother about it personally, if she's pissed at him work that to your advantage... He does seem to be TRYING to look out for you, he's just doing it in a really insensetive way.
I think he has the right intentions, but the way he is going about it really hurts me. It just really makes me not want to tell him anytime I am sick. He also told me that I need to tell my doctor about my sex life, and tell her that I am gay.
That's awful! I don't understand the logic behind why people think orientation is related to HIV risk. Logically, it would depend on how many partners the person has been with in how long. I'd go the scientific route. Look up studies and stuff that show the relationship between partners and HIV that consider orientation. Er, whatever. I'm no sciency person.
" I don't understand the logic behind why people think orientation is related to HIV risk. " Because people have spent the last what...20+ years telling everyone that it was caused and spread solely by gay people...old habits die hard...
I like the idea of going to your stepmother. Gather some statistics on who's actually at risk, statistically, of HIV infection (last I looked, African-American heterosexual women were the highest new infection rate, but that was several years ago) Encourage her to talk to him. My guess is it's just something he doesn't know much about, is afraid of, and still hs having trouble accepting, so I think some facts might help. It could also help to sit down with him and have a conversation and directly tell him that you know he's saying that because he cares about you, but it's hurtful (and inaccurate) and you'd like to have his support. He obviously cares, just doesn't know how to deal with what he's feeling. I think if you're open with him, it will help.
I had the same problem with my father when I came out, I think its to do with the era they lived in back in the 70/80's when HIV came onto the scence and gay men were at risk. Like chip said explain to him the facts we know alot more about the disease now and how to prevent getting it, and it might make him trust that you know how to look after your own health, worked with my father, good luck
