So I know advice on this issue is given out a lot, it just helps to rant and get feedback lol. Also i apologize if the story seems to jump around, im just getting this all out there at once. But basically i met him a couple years back and always thought he was cool. I loved (and still do) spending time with him just hanging out. Back then all i wanted was to be a friend, but for the past year I've been feeling more for him. I just recently came out to my girl best friend and told her that i like him a lot. She knows him too and would rather i dont get involved with him because they had a big fight last year and she doesnt trust him. However when i told her about my feelings she just asked me if i can see a future with him. Honestly, Im not sure if i see myself with him forever simply because I am a motivated person and he is basically the opposite. He also has a tendency to be an ass in certain situations. But its the sweet things hes done that make me attracted to him even more. For example, a year ago i was really struggling with my sexuality. Basically i messed around with some guy out of curiosity and i ended up telling a group of my friends about it, including my good friend. I came out as bi to them and for about the first month went through joke after joke from them. But eventually that faded for a couple months. However, one night about a month ago a couple of us were just hanging out and one of my friends said something about me being curious. My good friend saw my reaction (which was that i looked embarrassed and put my head down) and immediately told him to stop what he was doing. I was really touched that he did that because that didnt match his personality at all. Hes usually always joking about everything and doesnt share much about himself. Also doesnt really get involved with personal confrontations like that one. When he did that was when my attraction for him grew even more. After that night ive noticed more about him that I wish are signs that hes gay (but i could be over thinking it). Like one night it was just me and him hanging out in my room playing a video game. We were both laying on my bed with my laptop in front of us sharing the keyboard to play. we were having a great time just laughing about anything. then he got a call from one of his friends. when he answered you could here a couple other guys in the background talking loudly. he was asked if he wanted to go to a comic book shop to buy rare Magic the gathering cards (his favorite game of all time). I overheard his friend ask him and i was like "dude you have to go! you'll probably never get to see those cards on sale again!" he then said to his friend, "nah im gunna stay here" and hung up. I was stunned. so i asked, "why the hell wouldnt you go?!" (this is where my heart dropped and i so badly wanted to hug him and kiss him). He looked me right in the eyes, stared for a minute, and when he spoke his voice changed to a nervous like tone. he told me "because you wont be there" i was speechless. i think after i composed myself i let out an awkward "thanks" and then we went back to playing video games another night we were hanging out as a group in my room. we all normally get a little wild and all of us wrestle. i think that night we were fighting over pillows and it just so happens that my good friend had all of them. so i decided to charge in for them. this resulted in us wrestling on the bed. what happened was he eventually got me pinned down, turned me over and he layed on top of me thrusting into my butt...trying to be suttle but it wasnt xD i have to admit when he did tht i was a little turned on..and attracted to him even more. it was just something out of the ordinary for him to do and it was nice to see him get tht comfortable lol should probably make it clear that i have no definite answer as to whether he is gay straight or bi. what i shared with u are my only clues. i really want him to be gay so we can at least try being together, but i know this could also just be staight rough-housing.. so any advice on what to do with this? i really like him (not saying love because i prefer to be careful when using that term) and want to be with him. everytime i look into his beautiful blue eyes or hear his voice i get butterflies :icon_redf (and sorry for the long post...just had this bottled up for a while)
Maybe you could "come out again" as gay to him. Once you're fully out and he's digested it, it should be safe to say you have feelings for him. Also, try saying more meaningful things like he said "because you won't be there" to you that show you really like him. You could say how glad you are to be friends with him, how much he means to you, etc.
thanks for your response! ill give that a shot. the only thing is i dont wanna seem too forward..cause a lot of the times we just stare into each others eyes so im sure hes gotta know something is goin on with me lol ill try to be more suttle
If he thinks you're bi, then he should have some idea of the possibility you like him, which is good because then how he interacts with you aren't based on the assumption you're straight.
Yeah, you could tell him how you feel, or ask him his orientation when you feel ready. When has he been an ass in the past?
he was an ass with my best girl friend one year ago. she had personal problems and he wouldnt stop bugging her about them. also theres a running joke in my friend group that "im dumb" or "your so fucking stupid". not just him i suppose but it kinda gets to you after a while when its the only joke they seem to throw at you :/
