Hey, I'm Manny, I'm new to the forums but would be great fully for some advice on my friendship/relationship with a close friend (ex-boyfriend) named Brayan. It's a long story but please give me some advice... So back in September of last year I heard a rumor that my best friend, Brayan, over the summer was with a guy. Confused and doubtful I asked around a bit, and finally just asked him. He told me that the rumor was true, he was Bisexual, and he was with a guy for 2 months or so and the guy cheated on him. So after hearing this, I came out to him. He is/was my best friend since like the 6th grade so it was pretty easy, since we have trust and stuff. Anyway we talked and we actually helped each other to feel more comfortable with being bisexual and what not. Eventually though, we got into talking about how much we trust each other and how much we meant as friends to each other, and basically decided we were both open to the idea of being together. So about a week or so later, we made it official, but stayed closeted from our friends and families. We hung out and had an amazing relationship with each other and I can honestly say I've never had anything like it, I loved him and he loved me too because we comforted eachother, trusted each other, and just it was great. One might though my mom had my phone because I got in some trouble (I'm 16 keep in mind) and I got a text from him saying ".... Babe." so curiously my mom read the messages and was just in shock. That next day she asked if I wanted my phone and why and who do i need to be texting so I just told her "you already know, I know you read my texts." I was right. The whole situation was mute until the following Sunday afternoon she decided she wanted to know what his parents thought, and called them and they came to our house with Brayan. We had a huge discussion and basically were told neither one of us could be bisexual. It was straight or gay, a and we both said straight. His dad was really strict saying, "... This is your chance, we will accept you but in want an honest answer right now." we both caved into what eased the situation. So after, we try to just be friends but it's so hard. We see eachother everyday and just it was hard. So after about 2 months i told him I still loved him(I honestly do) and he explained that he felt the same but can't go back on his word, understanding I said okay. Well over winter break he went on vacation and we were talking about it again. He said he was sorry, he loves me and stuff and doesn't want to lie to his parents and be together behind their backs. We still say I love you and are super close just jot together. He did say that, if they ask again about how he was feeling he would say it, but couldn't do it on his own. It'd be to difficult and he would lose their trust entirely. So last weekend we went to a birthday party together and it was the first time we'd seen eachother in a long time and we hugged and kissed. We both missed it but he explained today that he felt guilty facing his parents like nothing happened. So I said that I will wait, and I honestly will, and he's assured me when they as he will tell them everything so we can be together, and not hide it. I explained that I'm sure he will when they ask, and I don't want to make him feel guilty so I'll stop the hugging and what not, then he had to go. My question: I know we love each other, what is everyone's opinion on our situation?? Thank you!
What stupid parents giving such ultimatums to young, scared kids. How old are you two? Why are your/his parents so judgmental? Are they religious? Anyway, you two will find away to maintain your love. You've got something special, and your parents have no right to break it.
Would either of you admitting your situation to your parents at this time jeopardize the safety and well being of either one of the two of you? That is something the two of you need to consider before trying to go forward with your relationship. If you do get together as a couple and don't tell your parents, eventually they will find out through some other means, such as your phone. A parent can find anything out about their child if they want to, especially if its your relationship status.
He is 17, I am 16. And our parents aren't really religious they just said liking both made no sense. They thought we were confused and going through a phase. Our well being isn't in jeopardy. And I they would find which is why waiting for him to tell them seems ideal right now. I guess I forgot to mention this.. When we had the conversation his dad was really serious about him telling the truth right then and there. He said that if he was lieing, he would send Brayan to a different school, taken everything away from him liken his car, phone, etc. And his dad isn't a liar, especially about stuff like as serious as this.
I think if you both want to be together, you SHOULD be together! Just tell your parents that 'bisexual' just means you like both genders and can be attracted to personalities, and perhaps you aren't sure which gender that you'll eventually settle down with, but that you WANT to try this out and STILL have the freedom to do other things later. If they don't respect this, then just do it without telling them.
Ok, so since your relationship isn't going to cause any major problems then I see not problem with going ahead. Just be prepared to talk to your parents about it just in case they find out. I just wanted to make sure that no one got thrown out or anything. I guess you can call me a pessimist.
As much as him or I may want to though, the only thing stopping is from it now is not wanting to lie, or violate the trust of our parents.
then say: "Mum, dad: I'm in a relationship with this guy" Bam, no lies told. If they don't accept it's their problem, not yours
Giving an ultimatum to scared teenagers like that isn't right. I wouldn't count you two being together as lying to your parents about it. I would tell your parents that there are way more sexualities than just straight and gay. There's bi (male and female), pan (all genders), ase, demi, the list goes on.
