It's a rant and i'm pretty pissed off I saved money so i can get my own apartment and my mom needed help paying for the rent I gave her the money so she can pay the rent on time she told me she would pay me back she never did , she asked again i gave her about 200 dollars she still hasn't given me my money back and I only asked for half back since she owes me for 400 . Now she asking me for 500 dollars and it is dipping into my money to get my own place and I'm very angry about it because i know she's not gonna pay me back plus i have other bills to pay . What makes me so mad is that my mom buys things she shouldn't be buying like purses shoes from OVC or expensive make up for 70 dollars in the mall that she knows she can't afford and then comes and takes my money but has the nerve to tell me , that she will throw me out just if i don't have the same opinion she does one time she even punished me for saying the church was losing a lot of people and they need to be accepting . I don't mind helping my mom with the rent but i hate when it starts going into my savings for my own place . If i made more money i wouldn't even be living with my parents to be honest . My mom makes fun of me for saving too much money and that i don't buy anything nice like clothes and stuff and that i save up for a wardrobe instead of doing like the other girls and buying stuff . I managed to save about 1000 in about 6 months for my new place now it's down to 700 which sucks . In the past my mom has taken money from my bank account with out even telling me and sending down to zero dollars thanks to her i had to pay the bank back and close the account . She's stolen money i've saved in my piggy bank .
I have barely any experience with your situation but I suggest you possibly get a postbox and a new bank account. Tell the bank to send your letters to the new postbox. Or ask a friend if they would mind receiving your bank mail.
I'm in a similar situation. I'm currently living with my parents because if I don't they can't afford to live at their house and they would have to move. Fortunately for me my parents does not steal money from me because this "financial incest" - Financial incest happens when adults force their children to take on an unreasonable, inappropriate role in their finances or relationship. - is their lifeline. I made it very clear with them that if they screw with me I will move. And I am still planning on to move out regardless, except timing is just not right at the moment. You're the one giving support and money to your mom so you have some say to what happens at home. And it appears that you have found a place to live already? since you seem to know how much to save. I'm sorry that you're currently living in a toxic environment where you can't seem to communicate to your mother about your social beliefs, identity(?) and finances. Your mother is dishonest to you and unwilling to face the reality that she is hurting you - your future goal of moving out and your freedom to challenge her values. You need to stop giving her money, or if she asks - tell her to give back your money first so you can lend her money.
I hadn't found a place yet but i know much places cost around my town from looking for the place we're living in now with my mom . I worked so hard all year to save my money . I'll be calling the bank and ask them to set up my account where she can't touch my money anymore .
"Sorry Mom, no can do. Please pay back the money you already borrowed from me." Make sure she can't access your bank account and drain it on the sly. Consider moving in with a roomie to save on expenses.
What? Taking money without your knowledge? Seriously, helping out your parents financially is one thing but taking money? Maybe I sound off a the mouth too much but if my mother did that to me I would remind her that this not the Wild f***king West and Larceny is still a prosecutable crime in this country.
It's a crime I wish i knew that , she thinks because i'm her daughter that she can do anything to me even if it's wrong
It might not be in her case, though. If it's a joint account, legally, the money belongs to both owners. I'm not saying it's right for her to just take it without permission, though. I personally have my mom listed as a joint owner on my checking and savings accounts so she can handle those for me if something were to happen.
I know...that's why I took my parents off my account as soon as I graduated high school, not that they were stealing from me but just because that's my own business. I'm just saying she doesn't have to take that crap. Stocking, if it's a joint account you should be able to take your parents off it. You are over 18 so that shouldn't be a problem, esp. if the account itself is in your name. I just want to say that I'm glad you're saving up to get out of there. I know you love your parents and want to help them but it sounds like they're projecting their issues onto you and that's not at all fair to you. Please, please, please get out of that house. It'll be better for all of you. Look, from what you have shared so far with EC I probably didn't have quite the same childhood problems with my mom that you did but she did not take me coming out well at all. The last time I spoke to her why still living under their roof was pretty bad. Words were said, tempers flared, she tried to slap me(I caught her wrist though) and just in general we spewed venom at each other. Then I moved out to move in with my bf and 3 years later things are a lot better. In fact, I usually found myself being able to have more rational, calm, loving family conversations once we weren't sharing the same space everyday. Keep saving money and don't let her know about it. I think the sooner you get out, the better for both of you. I'm sorry you're going though this, stay strong. (*hug*)
