so i got my phone taken away which im not really mad about but what really gets me mad is the reason that i got it taken away so heres the reason you see i was at my dad's house sitting on the couch texting my friend thats a girl i was talking to her about her sexuality since shes been having trouble accepting that shes bi i was helping her by telllig her that me and our friends wouldn't mind and we wouldn't kick her out of our group and nobody would care i sent her that but she took a while for her to text back for waiting so long i felt asleep on the couch i woke up and the first thing my dad said was "your friend texted you" i was confused and got my phone after i got it he said "you better be careful around her" i check the text messages and to my surprise my dad sent her 4 text messages (thank god she never respond) and to tell you the truth it was the most cold hearted text messages ever heres what it said " hello this is tb8 dad shes is sleeping right now but i came to tell you that you are not bi you are straight we all come to the stage that we are confused but god made women to like men it is a sin to like the same gender it is said in the bible you should be getting boyfriends not girlfriends those who like the same gender burn in hell" that only some of the text messages i remember but after i read the text messages i call my friend and told her to to listen to him shes was crying on the phone i tryed to calm her down you see she cuts herself and she has trouble accepting her sexual orientation what my dad did was just terrible :eusa_doh: after this event my mom pick me up i planned to never speak to my dad again but thats where i was wrong i learn that when i was away from him my sister has been taking pictures on my texts and sending it to my dad days later my phone got taken away i went to my dad house once again to confront him why this was his reason " you said in your text that you were gay you see people like your friends are brainwashing you to believe you are they want you to be like that its okay to be confused but being lesbian is just a complete sin you will burn in hell thats what god said in the bible you think its fun to be gay but its not those people burn in hell you think there happy but there actually sad and have mental health issues you arnt gay and that friend of yours i want you to tell her that you arnt being her friend anymore and you need to get new friends cause all these people saying that is okay are wrong you need people to guide you the right way" ever since that day i been crying and i started cutting usually i dont care what he saids but all those words were pointing towards me my mom and sister agrees with him and its tough when you have nobody to talk to i really just wish i was straight right now my parents think i just understood what they been saying and that im finally thinking like them and there doing great parenting and guideing me the right way but they dont know what i been doing crying cutting i really dont care about the phone but those words were just painful so was this a good reason? am i just being stupid?:tears:
No, it wasn't a good reason. At all. I don't know what your opinions on this are, but I think you have every right to be mad because they took your phone; that's at best being overprotective and overbearing, and it's basically spying. It's a gross invasion of privacy, and I would just view it as a betrayal of trust. Confiscating a phone and talking to someone about suspicions you might have, ok maybe, but reading texts? and USING your phone, your property, to bully YOUR friends? Everything your dad was doing was firmly in your private sphere which he had no right to arbitrarily put himself in. I take issue with the fact that he took your phone for starters. Do you have any security you can use on your phone? I really don't think him or anyone else reading your texts is right. Also the way he's doing what he's doing is wrong. Perhaps he has his beliefs... perhaps they should be acknowledged, as unsavoury and intolerant as they are. But that doesn't give him a right to threaten your friend, scaremonger you or be so abrasive in his delivery of his opinions. That's abuse. He can't just impose his opinions on others like that. He needs to be made aware of how destructive it is. Also, if he's quoting from the bible, maybe you should play him at his own game. Ask him why he's wearing mixed-fabric clothing, or when the last time he ate shellfish was. If he admits to that, then say that's also banned by the bible, so he's just as much a sinner as you if we're using the bible as the basis for the debate. Play the "judge lest not ye be judged" card on him. Or "love thy neighbour". Ask him what exactly is wrong with homosexuality, since it does nothing to hurt anyone and the only "hurting" being perpetrated is by behaviour such as his. You're not being stupid whatsoever, you have a right to love whoever you want to, and whether or not they think they're great parents is irrelevant. They demonstrably are not if their parenting causes so much damage and is based on such unfounded and aggressive beliefs/approaches. So no, you're not in the wrong and you shouldn't be punished for being who you are. I'm sorry if this came across as direct (towards your dad at least). Reading what he did to you and your friend especially just made me angry. You've always got EC to talk to if nothing else, so come back with any updates (*hug*)
yes i totally agree with you and i like how someone agrees with that its betrayal of trust! like my dad always saying " you have to trust us with things we are your parents and the bible said you have to honor your parents we are just trying to help you and be good parents, we want the best for you thats why we want you to get rid of some of your friends like the one you were texting" ........yeah sure dad :dry: its always the same speech always i hate it (he said that yesterday btw) its like how can i trust them if they never trust me ya know what i mean? :tantrum: sorry for the late reply :icon_sad:
Yeah, trust should work both ways to be genuine. It just sounds like they fundamentally don't trust you so they think what they're doing is right. It sounds to me like they're very set in their ways, but you never know. After a few years and a girlfriend, maybe they'll get the message that it isn't a phase and it's more than just tempting thoughts. Apart from that, it's difficult to know what to do. If it's not too personal, does your dad's homophobia come purely from what's said in the bible or just a general resentment of lgbt? There are websites I saw that are there to reconcile christianity and homosexuality but the name eludes me. Maybe dig around on google to see some and use them to try and tone down your dad's opinions. You could try arguing against him by saying the bible says lots of things are sins which make no sense but I somehow doubt that'd do much. I saw you mentioned your aunt, uncle and cousin in another post. Are they any better? Can you talk to them without your dad trying to intervene?
my dad's homophobia comes from the bible and articles from the internent and from cds he buys like catholic ones and there all usually about against gays (i dont know what the articles are called) and my cousin is very supporting hes 20 or 21 forgot but i can talk to him about stuff but since i got my phone taken away i cant really talk to him on a house phone cause my dad always listening,my aunt is supporting but she doesnt help much she just thinks that i should leave him alone and let him blah blah his mouth which i been doing these couple of years but it gets hurtful and hurtful :tears::badgrin:,and i would talk to my uncle but i dont got his number he change it and if i ask my dad he'll probability later tell him what i was talking about :bang: and my dads into getting into my business so he'll probabily try to get all the details i would rather talk to my cousin cause he doesnt really talk to my dad i have a another aunt who really supporting i want to come out to her but jesus! shes a loud mouth she will tell EVERYBODY :eusa_doh: but i think my dad will still try to get in my business:dry: its kinda how he is:dry:
well with me i should say he doesnt talk to anybody about me or my sister he keeps things to himself so nobody knows how hes treating me just my cousin and only little with my aunt
