About half a year ago I met someone and we were acquaintances until a few months ago when we started to hang out more. Recently I have kind of started to like him and I want to know how can I tell what sexuality he is without straight up asking him. I know I could just wait until we become closer friends but when I start crushing on someone I start assuming things will be that way. So my observations I have made are that he uses the word 'fabulous' in a non-joking way (And this just might be where I live but no straight man uses that word), he says that he gets along with girls better than guys, he has mentioned wanting to cross dress for a day and many girls find him cute including one girl who has a crush on him but he doesn't seem to care. Any helpful response will be appreciated and I am sorry if it seems like my observations show that I think stereotypes are the only way to find out somebody's sexuality but I don't know what else to look out for.
While those are all stereotypes, I know that I tended to rely pretty heavily on stereotypes when I was younger as a way to express my sexuality as I didn't know how to "be me" yet. That is not to say that he is not being himself but I do think that stereotypes can be telling sometimes regardless of whether you feel they line up with who you want to be or not. This might be terribly un-PC, but I know I would assume someone who had those behavioral traits is gay but it's really impossible to tell unless he tells you or you ask him. Here's to hoping he is!
Have you ever just asked him, "What kind of guys do you think I go for?" or something along that line, and If he gets upset, there is your proof. I see you are fourteen, sorry again I'm new, but you have your whole life to figure out if this kid likes you. I still think he does. But I would make sure he's not in with any mean spirited people before I come out and ask him. Do what you feel in your heart. Please keep up posted and good luck!
Thank you for the replies but I was also wondering if there are any other tips to find out? Like different mannerisms or whatever. I don't know... Plus I'd only ever want to do something if I didn't already have a girlfriend... So yeah, I am unsure about things...
You will never know for sure, unless he directly tells you, and even then some people in the closet can be very convincing. However, there are some involuntary signs, like you might observe him when a very good-looking guy passes by. Most straight guys will take one look and just mind their business, while "curious" guys can't help but give a thorough observation.
Hey!!! Another Aussie! Aww, that's cute. Well, there are many things you can do. The first option is to just plain out ask him 'hey, do you like boys?' or 'hey, can I ask if you're gay? I don't mean to offend you if you're not...' or something along those lines. This option is the fastest way to find out, but I would NOT recommend this unless you two are very close and you're sure he won't respond badly. The other risk is that if he IS gay and you ask him this, he might get a bit defensive and want to hide it... soo..... Option 2: Get closer to him. Hang out with him heaps and let the friendship get closer. This way you'll both get a better idea for one another You can do some subtle flirty things... like touching/hugging him occasionally, and seeing how he responds. When you're close enough, you will be probably be able to tell, and maybe at this point you will be more comfortable with option 1. Although you could just keep touching until it gets to the obvious point. If you're really brave, you can outright ask him out or just kiss him... It all depends on the situation... But with either of these, prepare yourself for the common possibility that he may be straight. But he does sound pretty gay lol. I hope it goes ok Keep us updated (*hug*)
(*hug*) Thanks for the tips! I have planned on becoming closer as friends and hanging out with him more often when school is back. I am definitely not the confident type to purposefully touch him, ask him out or kiss him. Pretty much I think that all I should worry about is becoming better friends but sometimes my mind just thinks too much about these things too soon.
