So my mom has never been the most supportive person in my life, especially when it comes to me being gay, but she's pretty much sunk to a new low. After dating my boyfriend since last spring, I finally got the balls to tell my mom about him. I expected her to throw a fit, do her usual shit and then attempt to show some interest. Nope, went way worse than it. She won't even acknowledge that he exists and when she does she beats around the bush. When I told her, she just said "whatever" and that was it, didn't ask his name, nothing. That hurt way worse than any fit she could've thrown :tears: Today I was talking to her and was talking about her visiting during President's Day weekend. She told me in her most pissed/disgusted tone "Oh well, I can't come Friday(Valentine's Day) since you'll have fucking plans with whatever." I wanted to jump threw the phone and slap her, this is new low even for her. I knew she wouldn't be thrilled that I'm dating a guy, but I didn't expect this coldness. I've been trying to emotionally distance myself from her, but this pretty much hit the reset button. I spent a good hour after I got off the phone laying in bed alternating between crying and cursing her, and I just feel numb and drained right now. I thought she'd finally come around to me being gay, she's been being more supportive of pro-LGBT stuff lately and then she just treated my relationship with utter disgust. :tears::tears::tears::tears:
That's really terrible dude. = ( Sadly there is very little you can do to "change" peoples views on these things, hopefully once the shock and denial start wearing off she'll become more accepting. In my opinion the best thing you can do is be happy, show her that being gay is in no way holding you back and your boyfriend is bringing you happiness. (I think, with *some* parents there is fear of their children having a more difficult or less happy/meaningful life. Show them that is not the case by having an awesome life (Even if they don't start accepting at least it rubs it in a little, yeah I'm vindictive at times, hehe)) All the best with it, I hope in time things improve (normally that's all it takes) and I wish you and "him" all the happiness in the world. = )
Jared, I'm really sorry. But I wouldn't give up hope. What you're describing does sound exactly like the "anger" stage of the 5 stages of loss (denial-anger-bargaining-grief-acceptance) and so it's possible she's slowly working through it. What you might consider doing for yourself in the meantime is set boundaries. If she can't be respectful of you and your relationship, and that's important to you, perhaps you could directly say that, and tell her that if she can't be supportive, that you feel like talking to her isn't helpful or productive to your well being, and you need a break from talking to her. Maybe by not having the opportunity to talk to you, she'll have a chance to think a little bit more about her actions. Of course, if she threatens to play games with purse strings and you're dependent on her for money for school at present, then this may not be the best option. It's tough, and it sucks. I agree that putting your energy into making yourself happy is probably the best option for now.
Wow... that's quite a bitch thing to say,do you really need her approval?If you love him and he is good to you,your mother dosen't need to approve of anything for you to be happy togheder...
Some people need to get used to the idea of their close relatives not being straight. Give her some time and she probably will eventually accept the fact that you are gay, and you have a boyfriend.
That's a mixture of annoying and awful. I do think it's common for parents of lgbt parents to behave that way. I think she is in denial and she doesn't want to face it..and is covering it with her passive aggressive behavior. That is really messed up though what she said and I can understand why you are upset. You did nothing wrong though; and that's important to note. I hope she will come around soon.
Maybe you don't need to acknowledge her as your mom... No, I think the best course is just to act like it is a totally normal thing, no matter how much she denies it. Just keep talking about your boyfriend whenever you feel like it, unless you need to be less vocal because you're dependent on her.
