Dealing with my sister's relationship

As I mentioned in my recent post in the coming out thread, I sorta came out to my mom after a big fight with my little sister. My sister and I have always been close, only 3 years apart, and even though she's always been more social than me, she never expressed a huge interest in having a boyfriend. She's about to go to college in a few months and wanted to focus on getting into a good school and her future career in musical theatre. Well, about a month ago, she was asked out by a guy, one of her friends, for the first time. I'm happy for her, but things have changed a lot in our relationship and at home since then. I moved home after graduating college last month and it's been hard enough navigating life as a recent grad AND trying to come out. But my sister being in a relationship with this guy has made it harder.

She talks about him a lot to my mom, and my mom seems to think it's okay to discuss these things either within earshot of me, or to my face. Before I sorta came out, I don't think she had any idea I like girls and not guys, considering how she's not-so-subtly tried to get me to find a guy to date :bang: The real problem I have with this situation is how insensitive she's being. To be fair, if I could come out to her properly, maybe she'd be better at not talking about my sister's BF all the time. Then again, she knows it's a sensitive topic because I've never been in a relationship and it hurts me that if I had realized I was gay earlier, I may have actually gotten some experience. I'm just worried that when I do come out, she'll try to guilt me into thinking I failed her because I like girls. She's not generally a judgmental person, but she can be pushy and I think she already thinks I'm not good enough because I never have a boyfriend. Once I come out, that option is out and I'm worried she won't be fully supportive of me, unlike with my sister's relationship.

Sorry about the long post, just had to get my feelings out!

 

I think just a feeling in general, based on how she reacted when I told her I liked girls and not guys. She told me I was confused so our conversation about it ended there. I'd like to open it up again, but I'm worried she'd just compare me to my sister and think I'm just jealous of her relationship.

 

ElliaOtaku: I think if I had a girlfriend it might be easier for me to justify my lack of jealousy but because I don't, I would try to explain to my mom that I don't need to be in a relationship to know my orientation. I just want her to know that it's not a choice that I'm gay, it's just how it is and it has nothing to do with anyone else's relationship status.

EttyT: I'm 21! My sister is 18, so also an adult but still living at home until she finishes high school.

 

When I see it all written out, it makes a lot more sense to me than in my own head! Now that I have a better idea of what I want to say, I think I'll be more ready this time around to be able to get my thoughts across. Thank you for helping me work this out!