I'm 19, and I'm in love ..I've had feelings for a man before . So this love explosion in my body can be tamed. But it's reached a point where I'm starting to avoid him (Brian). I'm too caught up in bieng the straight dude , I've become . This brings him to think that I'm not into him , so he starts to avoid me too .. It's the small things that he does that get me to think even more . We go to school together ... If he stares at me for too long , I keep my cool. But inside I'm so happy were interacting . We catch eye contact , in the oddest moments . It'll feel weried and gay , but that doesn't ruin the fact that one of us will wink an eye or knod our head up .. There are moments , where he stares at me and Im unsure of what to do , so I grind back my hair.. Or just walk towards him with a huge smile .. Same goes to him , but he gets all red , and takes of his hat ,then brushes back his hair ... We both smoke , I've gone to his house to smoke .. I met his friend who was a tad bit gay , but surprisingly had a girlfriend. .that night he wore this black hat , i asked him where is his brown hat .. He tells me it "does that one look better" I saw " yea it's coo" next day he wore that hAt ... But when that night ended , the night I went over to smoke ,.. It was like 7pm , and he walked me outside .. I remember saying good bye like five times because it'll get weried , we'd stare at eachother and smile .. I left home that day , too wake up too a text that said " sup,bro u got home already " did I mention I called him sexy , and he sends me a text (*******) <~~ like that. As if ... I don't know help .. I think about him alot
What Im aware of , we've talked about recent girls . And none are brought up .. As of there weren't non .
