So I texted my friend Matt tonight asking about some homework from a class I missed on Friday. After some prodding he realized that the stuff I mentioned was indeed homework and said he was sorry, he was stressed. So, being the good friend I am, asked why he was stressed. The responses were less than ideal: "Can't get anyone to get us liquor haha" -Oh...well thanks anyways... "We had a done deal and then bam, it all got fucked up." -Few messages later "Oh I feel ya man. Mines more of a social stress cuz I have a party relying on it, but its not like a real issue, yours is a big thing." Most if not all of my close friends know my opinions on underage drinking: I detest it. It's fucked up too many people I know that used to be perfectly normal. Matt, who's 16, was to me, that one person who's popular but still doesn't drink or do stupid shit like that. I made it perfectly obvious that I was not a fan of him talking about that, him even steering the conversation away from it. But now that I know...it bugs me. I had plans to chat with this guy I met online tonight and I couldn't because I honestly feel kind of emotionless. I'm at a loss. This is going to be a constant nag now. It may seem minor to everyone else, but the people that I know drink I look at them differently now. One girl that I used to be best friends with I know look at as scum when she's with her friends. Alone, she's fine. But we aren't friends...at all. What can I do people? This is gonna bug me now...like why bring it up if he knows it bugs me? And then when he can obviously see its bugging me...why bring it up again after sidetracking away (the right thing to do imo)?
I'm glad you've chosen not to drink. That's a good decision to make early on, and it's easier for some teens to make it than others. If your friend wants to talk about something, then he's going to talk about it. You can't really do a lot to stop him unless you just say, "I don't want to talk about drinking." Being secretly angry about him doing that, brooding over it, isn't going to get anybody anywhere. If you want to keep your friendship, talk to him about it. Is it okay that it bothers you? Yes. Is it okay that you choose not to hang out with someone when you know they drink? Yes. But I encourage you not to judge people so harshly. Not to be cliche, but as you've found out, a ton of people do it. It's normal. Some of the people I respect most now drank when they were teens. It's just a thing that some people do. Some people figure their way out of it and snap into life, some don't. Anyway - I'm not entirely sure what advice you're looking for. If I missed, let me know so I can try to understand you.
I understand that teens drink. I don't like and may not respect it but if you're a wholesome person then I will respect you as a person. And I may not drink, but that doesn't mean I never will...when I'm an adult, most likely...but not at 17. I did even blatantly say that I don't like drinking to him after the last message I put. He understood me, but kind of shrugged it off. I didn't want to brood on the subject and sidetracked away to my writing. I try not to judge too harshly. I'm sure there are normal teens who drink occasionally, but at my school I see the people who make me not want to have anything to do with underage drinking. The thing is he is getting clearly stressed because he can't get liquor for this party. I don't know what party it is or who will be there, but seriously who would pin a 16 year old with getting the liquor?
A very undesirable person would pin a 16 year-old with getting the liquor. He must just be preoccupied in his situation, not thinking about what you want or don't want to talk about. Also - My mistake. I was talking about you not drinking as a teen. I know you probably will when it's legal.
See, I presume that he's with others trying to get it, but even then...high schoolers getting liquor is stupid. Like fuck that. Why corrupt great people? He seemed really stressed about the whole thing. Like he didn't seem himself when I was talking to him...sometimes yes, but other times no. I may drink when I can, I may not. But it's the legality part of it.
