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I don't know what to do

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Why, Jan 20, 2014.

  1. Why

    Why
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    Location:
    Paradise City
    Gender:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
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    A few people
    Bear with me, I'm sorry...
    I hate myself. There are three people that know I'm bisexual, and they're all very understanding. But it has happened. I have fallen in love with my best friend... female. She doesn't know I'm bi, she does know I've had a crush on a girl but she may not remember. I know I love her. I've had a crush on her for over a year and it's deepened. I think about her all the time. I dream about her almost every night. I imagine scenarios that will never happen. I dream about confessing to her, but I always wake up before she can react. I know I have to tell her, but I'm terrified of her reaction. The thought makes me want to crawl into a hole. If we lost our friendship over this... I don't know what I would do. We have the most amazing bond, unlike any I've ever had with anyone else. It's almost like we share one mind. But she likes this guy. She hasn't talked about him in a while, and she said she likes him much less now, and the other day she made a joke about me liking her (I asked if she was pregnant (inside joke), and she asked why I wanted to know, and if I was jealous of the father). She has never made a joke like that before. I don't know what to make of this either I'm really just confused about everything. But I know I can't go on not telling her. I feel like I'm betraying her by keeping it from her and I feel like I'm betraying myself. When I'm with her I can't enjoy myself fully because I'm disgusted at myself for falling in love with her. But if I told her and she reacted badly, I don't think I could take it. I do know things will never be the same again :frowning2: Please help... I just want advice. I cry myself to sleep because of her. I don't know what to do anymore. Please.
     
    #1 Why, Jan 20, 2014
    Last edited: Jan 20, 2014
  2. TJ

    TJ
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    If she liked a guy, chances are she's straight, and you should assume she's straight until she tells you otherwise.

    It's a tough situation for you, but my advice is this: Enjoy your friendship. Be close, be caring, and be friends. There is no reason that you can't love her platonically. If she's straight, then you flirting with her/telling her you want a relationship will either make her really uncomfortable and/or want to get away from you.

    There's nothing wrong about falling in love with your friend. But you have to understand that you can love her without being in a relationship with her.
    If you truly love her, you must respect her boundaries and enjoy the friendship you have.
     
  3. rainbowkeyblade

    Regular Member

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    Dear why,
    I have been in exactly the same position with my best friend (except she knows i'm bi and she's bi too). Just remember how much you enjoy your friendship with her and keep remembering the good times. If this infatuation becomes too much for you and if you know you can trust her - tell her you're bi. This'll relieve you a lot and at least she knows it's possible that you can have a crush on her.

    Don't come on too strong though, and consider her. Watch her kiss another person - if she does that (it may be a turn off)..

    anywho -> just post on my wall if you need help.
     
  4. setnyx

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    I'm not sure about the joking thing that's new you said. sounds like she suspects and is giving you a chance to tell her.
     
  5. Cigsmoker

    Regular Member

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    Hi why,

    First of all, cheer up, my dear!

    A lot of us have been in your situation, some even more than once.

    But chances are...she is straight. And I think you should respect that. Just like how she respects you for being bisexual. I know its difficult but for now, maybe just to enjoy the genuine and profound friendship you have with her.

    May I also suggest that you should start dating or meeting other girls. It can be through meeting someone at a party/event or just going online and chatting with other individuals. I think you have so much love in you at this moment that it needs to come out and expressed. Maybe another person out there needs to have the level of love and attention that you can give. I think meeting other people or just talking to another person might be something good for you.

    I don't know if this would help, though. But I wish you all the best on this, my dear. :icon_bigg

    Cigsmoker [Sam]