I feel ashamed to talk to anyone about this in real life but I really hate my dad.:icon_redf I'm not 100% sure where these feelings come from. He doesn't know yet that I;m trans and I don't want him to have to know because that is my life and my business. I don't want him to have any involvement with my life. Even to look at him, he disgusts me. When I have to be in the same room as him, I avoid looking at him at all. I feel like I have to put up a kind of mental wall to block him out. Like I said I'm not sure why I feel like this because although he has done things in the past to upset me and make me feel mentally distressed, it is no more than that which he has also done to my mum and siblings and they still talk to him etc. But I can't abide him. He used to taunt me about the fact that I was bullied at school, he would drive really dangerously when we were passengers in the car to frighten us and he would laugh, he is sexist pig (which before I realised I was trans made me feel 'put down' as a woman) and he used to/still does do other things which I can't mention on here that aggravated me. I don't know what to do about the way I feel. He will have to know I'm trans at some point but like I said I don't want him to know that about me. Is this a normal way to feel about your parent? :icon_redf
Sometimes it is I hate my mom and can't stand talking to her on the phone for 2secs hate it when she's home . I just can't stand her .
I think that it has more to do with the fact that you are unhappy, than it has to do with who your dad is. You feel a lot of anger and uncertainty and this is the way to deal with it. To find a target and shoot all your frustration at him. I don't mean it badly. I believe that you need to find peace with yourself and then you won't be irritated with the people around you.
Nick07 I don't think he is the target of my anger. It is something more than that and I have felt this way years before I had any idea that I could possibly be trans. My mum says that I used to be close to him when I was very young (insert sick face if there was one) but I don't remember that and it disgusts me. I just know that I have this horrible feeling of disgust and hatred towards him that means I need to put up a mental barrier to even be in the same house as him.
This! Some suggestions: - Try to pratice some hobbies so you can distract a little from that anger. - Most importantly, you should try to know more people through your friends, so you can get to meet new future friends or simply to have a distraction. - Try to analyse yourself and write about the problem. "Why I hate my dad?" (I know you said some reasons, but I added here anyways), "If I hate him, is there any solution for this?" "Should I talk to someone about this, to some my friend?". After some time, you will find the answer.