I've just learned that I have another friend with depression. I've told them to talk to people if something upsetting them and ofered myself as someone they can talk to if they want... obviously I don't know how exactly to help and I was wondering if anyone could gave me any hints or help cause I want to help my friend but I don't know what to do, please help.
Hi, it's really nice of you that you care. Depressed people are convinced that nobody cares, that they are a burden, that the world and the people around would be better off without them. Don't wait till your friend comes and asks for help. Asking for help is incredibly hard. Because you already think that you are a burden - and you should get your friends involved in your troubles? Never. And admit that you have a problem? Double never. So, initiate talks, call first, pull your friend out of the stereotype of their room. Offer something to do. Let them know that you think highly about them. Or about the time you two spend together. Is there anything else you would like to ask?
Yeah, see if they at first say "I don't want to talk about it" should I persist so they can get it out into the open and off their chest or should I back off? Also what if it happens to be the person that you like and they know you like them, I mean obviously I should make that a priority or anything, but should I tell them that again so that they know someone cares? or should I just be 100% friend? if that makes sense? Also I think I recall hearing that physical exercise helps with depression, is my brain just making that up or is that right? Cause since we both go to the same school, I was going to ask him if maybe if he walks home if he wants to help me walk the dog, that would at least give him someone to talk to on the way home (gets my chore done too XD)...
"Yeah, see if they at first say "I don't want to talk about it" should I persist so they can get it out into the open and off their chest or should I back off?" There's nothing wrong with asking 'are you sure?', but then just reaffirm that you are there if they need you and back off. Trust me there is nothing more annoying than someone keep asking what the matter is, evening if they are trying to be helpful. Not to mention that half the time there actually ISN'T anything specific that is the matter. Problem with depression is that it's nothing like just being really really upset. More often than not, nothing that we can actually name has caused it, we just feel shit and couldn't talk about it if we wanted to! Exercise IS supposed to help yeah, why not ask him.
Then for the love of god make it sound natural..."Hey ***, how are you?!" not my mums favourite line in the world "What's the matter. There must be SOMETHING the matter or you wouldn't look like that! FINE sulk..."
I'll try, since I normally talk to him over facebook, if I sulk he shouldn't see it XD. Thanks for the advice btw... I've just asked him and his response was "my Mum picks me up" and my reply was "oh, well... (I don't want to be controlling or anything) but maybe if you don't mind walking either you or I could ask her to stop, I mean I know it's convenient and all, but... (I want to say "it's for you own good" but it's really your choice isn't it) sigh. Please consider it?" ... was that the right more or should I of been more assertive or less?
There isn't exactly a right or wrong...or at least, not one that will work for everyone. Just remember that while its great you want to help, it's not your responsibility to 'cure' him, so if he doesn't bit, don't be too hard on yourself for it!
