The last week as got me thinking a lot about my sexuality. I have been married for over 5 years. I love my husband, I love the sex and the closeness. I love to intelligence and laughs we share. But then I start thinking about...if my marriage is a life time thing. A faithful thing, can I live with never knowing what it would feel like to be with a woman too? How do I live with the frustration and longing I feel sometimes? When you love someone, like I love my husband, then you don't hurt them. I am not actively looking to cheat. I don't want to cheat and I am not thinking about it. So 'how to cheat' is not my question here. I wish I could explain the above better!
My thought's about this situation is that it's a common problem for us bisexuals, and I know your frustration. Where we may end up in a long term relationship with one gender. That longing and emptiness. However it doesn't appear like any good answer to me. Aside from cheating or have a one time only "swinging" encounter. Witch is a definite no. However my thought is the best answer for this is to talk to a sexologist.
Does your husband know you are bisexual? Have you ever discussed the possibility of exploring that side of you? Together possibly, or separately if you would both prefer. There are other options between cheating, divorce or monogamy. I would suggest reading some Dan Savage. He is an advocate of open relationships on certain circumstances. Whether it can work is a matter that only you and your husband can decide, and it would need trust, communication and honesty. But it may be better than spending a lifetime feeling unfulfilled and potentially becoming resentful or tempted to break the agreed terms of your marriage.
I'm having a similar problem, except I'm no longer questioning. I'm definitely attracted to women, and I always have been... I just didn't have any (reasonable) love interests and I convinced myself it was a phase. It wasn't. Now, married, I love my husband, and sex is nice, but I'm interested in women. It's very confusing, I'd honestly like to just go one way or the other with my sexuality. I'm maybe not ready to admit to all the details of my feelings about this situation. Now on the other hand, my husband knows I like girls. He maybe doesn't know how much (and God knows why, because I've been awful at keeping it from him), but knows that when we have sex, I'm more than likely thinking about being with a woman. Terrible, I guess, but I was already married when I realized these feelings so I'm quite stuck in a straight lifestyle now. I love my husband, but I still want the opportunity to date girls, and sleep with them, and fall in love. Probably not going to happen. The unfortunate thing about him knowing is that he really has his heart set on a threesome, and I'm just not the partner sharing type of person. Not in a serious relationship. He doesn't get it, because to him, sex is just sex. And for me, it carries emotions. Not for a one night stand or anything, but in a marriage? Definitely. I hope you do what's best for you. I'm totally confused and torn between the life I have, and the one I could have with a woman, and it's not fun. I hope you and I both can resolve our feelings, lest we slip up and cheat. Not something I ever wanted to put someone through. Keep posting. Letting off the steam will probably help.
