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Flatmate Problems

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by MrBrightside, Jan 23, 2014.

  1. MrBrightside

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    Hey guys, this is quite complicated but ill try keep it short.

    Basically me and my flatmate have a 2 bed flat, and have lived together for the last 2 and a half years. Over the last 6 months hes been suffering with depression, and made 2 attempts on his life which thankfully i was around to stop.

    So onto the problem, on wednesday night me, him and another mate went on a rash night out. We got very drunk. He had been annoying me a bit because he was expecting me to buy him drinks all the time. We are both students, but i work so i often have a bit more spending money, though im skint right now and he had just won £1,000 gambling. So later in the night, were in a nightclub and i realised i had lost my cloakroom ticket. I identified my jacket and got it moved to keep it safe and all is good.

    Soon after, my flatmate had gone awol, and my other mate comes up to me and asks if a jacket sat on the floor under a table near us is mine, of course i say it cant be. But he convinces me to check, and it was mine... I return to the cloakroom to put it back, and the girl was baffled, as she had left another girl in charge for 5 mins while she smoked. She explained to me someone had given a perfect description and told them that there was an asthma inhaler in the pocket... only me, him and the other mate in the club knew that, and it was the other mate who brought this all to my attention.So as you can guess i was very angry, and left to go meet other mates in a different club, and stayed out another hour or two before heading home. I was given the impression that it had been sold to someone else, so when i met my best mate i told him the story, and said it was probs for drugs (my flatmate used to have a problem with drugs).

    When i got back to my flat, my flatmate pins me to the wall and shouts abuse at me. I dont rise to it. My best mate had txt him because of how angry i was. So i dont rise to it, and i go to my room. I used to have an anger problem when i was younger, so now if im angry i just punch a pillow, put my headphones in and stay in my room. So a short while later he comes in, and shouts more shit like "im going to fucking kill you" and i get up and walk towards him when he pushes me over, onto the floor and shouts how pathetic i am etc.

    Tht night i came home, cos i didnt feel safe in tht flat. So im now left with the dilemma of what to do now. All the contracts are in his name, but its an expensive flat and i still think its bad if i dump it all on him, even if i do give him a months notice. I have work and uni to consider too, and i cant get to either of them if im living at home, so i either have to move back into my flat or get a new one.

    He hasnt made any contact with me since he attacked me in my room, except his gf and my best mate telling me hes spreading tht he hit me...

    I have an important exam on monday, but ive managed to get this week off work so i have a couple of days to sort things. I just feel like i have no control, and hate the situation im in... Its making me very down right now :bang:
     
  2. Wardrobe93

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    I think if you are genuinely in fear of your life then dont go back, maybe meet in a public place? But youve known this guy for quite a while so I think only you can answer this really.

    Among all the depression and twatty stuff is he a good guy? Can you trust him? Maybe talk with your other friends and see what they think?

    PS love your signature!
     
  3. MrBrightside

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    Hes a compulsive liar, these days hes downright cunning alot of the time. Im not in fear of my life, i just dont want to be in a situation where im worried that ill rise to him, or im in an abusive environment...

    I just feel kinda stuck between what i think i should do, and blind loyalty and thinking it could change :frowning2: Like dumping the flat on him would be hard on him, but possibly the right option. Just dunno. My parents want me to move out, so do my other friends. Im just kinda stressed out and want to hide from it all.
     
  4. Wardrobe93

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    Well from what you've said it seems like you need to move out. Its causing you stress and if he's a compulsive liar then you're constantly treading on egg shells by being there. I think you've got to make sure you dont jeopardise your own career and living for someone else. I understand you don't want to be an arsehole but I think a months notice is a decent thing or maybe try and find someone else to move in or say you wont leave until he's found another roommate? Even if you wanna stay at home while hes finding one but still pay rent.

    Whatever you choose i thnk you need to talk to him soon and start sorting it as its not gunna get any better otherwise, but i appreciate you're in a pretty crappy situation :S
     
  5. Skov

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    I also think you need to get out. He sounds like a complete asshole who is only using you, so I wouldn't feel too bad about dumping it on him. I've found that compulsive liars never change. This situation really sucks, but I think you should get out of it now because I can't see it getting any better especially if he is bragging about hitting you when he's sober. He sounds like he belongs back in high school. He needs to get slapped by the real world.
     
  6. resu

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    Focus on studying for your exam. Talk to your other friends about places where you can move. When you are around him, try to avoid any confrontation while secretly getting your things secured and ready for moving.

    Since he doesn't respect you, don't feel too bad about giving him a short notice. If your parents and other friends tell you to move, you are making a bad decision to stay longer than necessary.