We started out as normal friends. As time goes by, we developed a strong bond and one day, i realized that i had fallen in love with her. However, I wasn't attracted to her sexually. I was attracted to her personality and our emotional bond. I wasn't sure about my sexual orientation and always thought that i like boys. This happens 10 years ago when we were teenagers. Due to some major misunderstandings, we didn't talk for 10 years. I had assumed that she has moved on and could had found a boyfriend. Thus I have also moved on. However, two years ago, we have reconnected as friends. She started to drop hints that she had liked me before. I started to feel confused with my sexuality as old memories are triggered. She is my first love. She is the first one that i have accidentally fallen in love with. I started to push her away subtlety. When i recollect myself, i realize that i want to be with her. My hearts start to ache when i realize that i may lose her. Then i started to ask her out as a causal friendship date but she is the one who is pushing me away now. I guess both of us are unsure about getting involved into a homosexual relationship. We are in Asian country that does not encourage such relationship. We are in our early 30s and are not short of suitors. We can still get married and have a family. I'm confused by what she meant by telling me that she is a very logical person but yet she can be eccentric... i am guessing that she is having some conflicts herself. I love her but im unsure is this friendships between two very close friends or is this love of more than there? Recently, i found myself physically attracted to her. she has just grown prettier.
Sounds like your bisexual, but more interested in guys, because you do not view her as a sexual partner (maybe even pansexual). Or maybe it is just love that grew on someone you care about making you straight. Do you fantasize holding her hand, going on dates, kissing her? As for your situation, you stated she's having issues in her life. Stress can be a big barrier for relationships, thus in no way is she implying that she doesnt like you, for all we know she may have the same feelings. If it is your decision to tell her you love her then that is your decision, though your description for your inner feelings are unclear. What I'd like to know is what you feel about genders specifically before you label yourself as straight, pansexual; bisexual. Best of luck & Follow your heart.
