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Friend Never Wants to Date Ever Again

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Emberblaze, Jan 24, 2014.

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  1. Emberblaze

    Emberblaze
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    Hello EC peeps.

    To make a 300 page long story short, I have a friend of mine, she knew I was gay, she asked me out, we dated for like 3 months, I had to break up with her, yadda yadda.

    Problem is, she's still fixated on me, like, a lot, probaly on account of the fact that I've done a lot for her and has been the first person that has ever seemed to care about her (in HER eyes, all of our friends care for her but she lives with just her mom, who's a bitch, and she really doesn't have much of any family).

    So, she feels that there's no chance of ever finding anyone "better than me" or whatever and says she doesn't ever want to date or find love or anything ever again. And she is VERY adamant about this, like really really fixed on this.

    I keep telling her moving on is the biggest part of the healing process, and today she got really annoyed about it.

    So, like, I guess the main question is do you think she's just feeling like that temporarily for NOW or do you think she'll get past this? I KNOW she's not going to be happy being alone but she's experienced nothing but loneliness her entire life and it's like she's stuck in some abusive relationship with Loneliness and can't break free.
     
    #1 Emberblaze, Jan 24, 2014
  2. BookDragon

    BookDragon
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    Is she also 17? I can't imagine for a moment she even has the willpower to keep that going...she might stick with it for some time, but realistically that's not your problem. You've told her she needs to move on, your bit is kind of done...
     
    #2 BookDragon, Jan 24, 2014
  3. Emberblaze

    Emberblaze
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    Yeah she's 17 as well. And I kinda agree wih you that its not my problem, it's just DAWNING on me that it really isn't. But I care about her a lot, she's like a daughter to me and it saddens me to see her take such a lonely path because I KNOW it's not what she wants.

    Now, I DO look in the future and think that she might not stick with it for ever and I really hope I'm right
     
    #3 Emberblaze, Jan 24, 2014
  4. PurpleGrey

    PurpleGrey
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    I've been on both sides of these types of situations. Be direct. Tell her she's making you uncomfortable and that she knows damn well why you two shouldn't be together. When I had a creeper after me, I got bitchier and bitchier, and he still kept bothering me. I eventually just stopped responding and he gave up. If you can't avoid her throughout the day, I don't really know what to say. I think I'm just rambling now. If all else fails, try being an asshole if you're comfortable with that. Or at least be stern.
     
    #4 PurpleGrey, Jan 24, 2014
  5. EleanorHunter

    EleanorHunter
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    There's not a whole lot you can do here that you haven't already done. However, since she's 17, she might be able to move past it. If she still has feelings for you, you could remind her that she is a great person and all that stuff, and you still care about her even if you can't date her. She might think it's the end of the world, but she will find someone again.
     
    #5 EleanorHunter, Jan 24, 2014
  6. Naunet

    Naunet
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    She is 17. She is clinging to the feeling of happiness she gets when she is near someone who shows her affection, in this case You.

    And she does not want to give it up but you have to make her understand, that you can only give her your friendship and it seems that you already tried to make this clear, but she is a teenager.

    Try to be patient if it comes to a point where you can no longer stand her then maybe you should start separating yourself from her, but before you can try to make her see all the other people that love her.
     
    #6 Naunet, Jan 24, 2014
  7. TheSeeker

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    My advice: RUN, FORREST, RUN!!!
     
    #7 TheSeeker, Jan 25, 2014
  8. Emberblaze

    Emberblaze
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    Heh, I think soooome of you are gettng the impression that she's like stalking the crap outta me. It's noooot like that at all. shes like my best friend, and she doesn't really bring it up all the time or anything like that
     
    #8 Emberblaze, Jan 25, 2014
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