So straight to the point, last night I cheated on a guy that I like very much. Let's call him "Q". I met Q about two weeks ago, and he's absolutely amazing. I've never met anyone as smart and charming as I find him. He's an older, sensitive gentleman who shares almost all of my interests, and he told me he doesn't hook up and that he hasn't had sex in two years. I can respect that, but in the past year or so I've hooked up quite a few times. Mostly oral encounters, but there have been a few unprotected hookups that I'm extremely ashamed of. More to the point, last night Q and I finally told each other how we feel about each other. We kissed and hugged and had a wonderful time. I'd honestly never felt happier. But no more than three hours later, I received a text from one of my past hookups asking if he could perform oral on me. I don't know why I did it, I knew I'd feel terrible about it, but I did it. I felt awful the entire time. He wasn't even good at it. Today I woke up feeling physically sick. I know that I consciously did an incredibly shitty thing and that I should feel this way, but I'm not sure what to do now. I know that I'm never going to do it again, but should I tell Q? I feel like I'd be doing it for purely selfish reasons because this guilt is eating me alive, but it would do nothing but hurt Q and have him probably never trust me or even call it all off. I don't want to lose him, but I also don't want to start this relationship off on a lie. I'm so fucking confused and anxious. What should I do?
I feel that you should come clean with him. He may be mad at you but he should be able to understand that you truly are in love with him. Being honest with him will show that you actually cherish the relationship that you have with him. You should also make a promise to yourself and your partner that you will never be participating in acts of cheating. Alternatively you can continue to keep this a secret but who knows how long it'll last? Plus, there's the guilt that you'll feel which isn't really healthy for your mental health so I suggest that you confess Additionally, you might want to prepare for a breakup in the event that your partner doesn't want to continue in the relationship. However, I feel that it is unlikely. If he does you'll just have to remember this event as something caused by your mistake and never commit it again. * Written from the perspective of a 15 year old turning 16 soon
Yeah I say you should tell him he should understand and like Nerkpoop78 said being honest will show you cherish he relationship.
If you felt shit, tell him that. Tell him that that's not the person you want to be, and that you really really like him.
