There is a guy from my school who dated one girl his entire life even though he's just gorgeous. After they broke up, he never hooked up again, and not because he was hung up the other girl or anything. There is another girl who wants to date him and all, and he says he wants it too, but he never tries anything and people are starting to say he's gay. Now, I don't think it's cool to say a guy is gay just because he's not dating a girl, because he's not dating anyone at all, so it makes zero sense to say he is, maybe he's just not wanting to hook up or date or anything at the moment, and that's fine. So I threw hints at him lately and in secret, so I can have some actual base, just 'cause. I started saying I always wanted to get out of town and be on my own, maybe with someone so I won't be lonely and he was all like "yeah, I just might go with you" in a very serious way. I didn't think that was enough, so I started suggesting we do stuff, but I only say it like "do this with me" or "let's do such together" to see what he thinks, cause he seems to like me a lot and I figure if he's gay he'll let me know, even if it's just as a friend. The thing is, he responds really well, and sort of how I would. He watches the films I suggest, he takes pride in doing stuff with me, he never refuses going out with me, and if he can't he's just really bummed out. Also worth mentioning that we aren't best friends, he is just a frind and he kind o click. There were also times when we were high together and he got a bit hands on, like the time we were both lying on a bed in another friend's house (we weren't alone) and he tickled my chest, running his hands lower and lower until I made an excuse to get up. I also caught him staring me down once or twice. So, do you think this is enough to figure it out? He wouldn't admit or come out, I just know it, but is there anything I can do to let him know he can reach out to me? Anything I can say at all? Even if he's straight as an arrow, there's something going on and I'm very curious.
My advice is really to just sit back and then go from there. You have to make sure you aren't making up wishful signs if you want to actually date him, as this will end up screwing you over later. This is hard though since he seems to be ending up in middle ground. There aren't any obvious signs to say he's gay or to say he isn't. Like you said, just because he isn't dating doesn't mean he is gay. Him tickling you, though, That isn't exactly incriminating either to say he is gay as well. If you really have to know whether or not he is gay, and you really trust him, I would recommend coming out to him if you are comfortable. Usually if somebody comes out, it will encourage them to come out themselves. However, if you want my honest opinion, I would say not to get your hopes too high until you know for sure that he likes you.
It's never enough to know for sure unless he tells you directly. But, you can get a good idea. For example, how does he act when he sees a very hot guy or a very hot girl? Do his eyes linger over the guy and where (just the face, or "down there")? The easiest way for someone to be comfortable with you is for you to come out to them. Besides that, you can be more vocal about your support for LGBT rights and saying you would support anyone who came out to you.
Well, the tickling thing seems to indicate something... But the only way to know is if he tells you directly.... that or he ends up kissing you... but don't count on that happening... xD My advice would be to build up the friendship and maybe come out to him when you think it's the right time, that will make you two closer as friends
Thanks for your replies guys. I've thought about most of those suggestions at least once, except for those that are about one of us coming out. We go to a school where no one but a few (about four) girls have ever done anything with anyone from the same sex. No one even considers the possibility of a homossexual or a bissexual. Our families are also pretty strict about that kind of thing. There are no gay or bi kids in our circles, no one knows what it'd be like to come out or experience. So no, unfortunately, there's no chance of any of us coming out. As for the wishful thinking bit, I did consider that as well, but when it comes to these straight guys, there are always subtle things that make you think, so no matter how reasonable I try to be, this guy will make me doubt things all over again. Anyway, I went to party with him yesterday and nothing too interesting happened, and that's one of the reasons I think he's not bi at all, but whenever we got to spend time together, things got really heated up and there was all that tension and him so comfortable around me and I really thought about bringing something up. But is it a good idea? I mean, if that's just the way he is, I'll be acting like a total douche and likely ruining that chemistry we have and things won't be the same. I mean, it's fine when I have to ask a girl out and potentially face rejection, but what high school 'straight' guy expects this kind of talk from another guy out of the blue?
