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some sad news

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Fan of Tessen, Feb 2, 2014.

  1. Fan of Tessen

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    Hi everyone,
    I know I don’t come on here very often, it’s mainly because I don’t have much to say. But I wanted to share some sad news… I apologize in advance…

    Yesterday Feb 1, 2014 we had to put my dog to sleep. He was the first dog that I ever got when I was 10; He’s a 15 year old Pekingese male full of life and personality. In his old age he became blind, deaf and couldn’t move very much. Even though he was basically bedridden we took care of him just like he was a baby. The doctor had said that because of the way we took care of him to the very end we basically gave him an extra year of life. I’m so proud of not only us but of him too for holding out for so long. There’s a part of me that is happy because I feel like he was finally able to move on because his last meal was some home cooked chicken that my grandma use to make for him when he was younger… which I bet would have been his last wish.

    When I woke up this morning, the first thing I noticed was how quiet the house was. The TV wasn’t on, the birds weren’t chirping, I couldn’t even hear any planes or cars going by… I’m so riddled with emotions I don’t even know what to think; On the one hand I’m happy or relieved because he’s finally resting and we don’t have to live with that constant fear of “when is it going to happen?”. And on the other hand I’m terribly sad because it was like losing a little brother. I can’t help but feel like he’s just spending the night over at the vet and we’re going to pick him up the next day… but that day never comes…

    I’m not much of a crier since I’m very happy go lucky…. Or at least just mellow… but last night I did cry a little when I was looking through some of his photos on my computer. I tried to remember all the fun times we had but at the same time I was sad cause of the thought that I wouldn’t be able to see him again… at least I know that he’s in a better place now, and that one day we will meet again.

    I know with time I will begin to feel better, but I feel as tho I will always have this empty feeling… like something is missing… like I’m staring at a puzzle that no other piece fits into… but I do still have another puzzle piece; my second dog who Ive had for five years already. I love her so much and will continue to love as much as my first one.

    Thank you everyone who takes the time to read this and don't worry I'll be ok ^_^
     
  2. mobrien1993

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    I'm very sorry for your loss. It's great that your dog made it to fifteen years though. At least you have all the memories you guys made together, that's something that can never be forgotten. Make sure you pay extra attention to your second dogs she may not completely understand what happened. I hope everything gets better for you, if you ever need to talk I'm here. :slight_smile:
     
  3. mbanema

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    I'm sorry to hear about your loss. :frowning2:

    I know I'm very fortunate that this is the worst thing I've experienced in my life, but the day my parents had to put my dog to sleep was just unbearable. She was 14 and was born a few months before I was. I'm not much of a crier, but I let the tears flow for hours and hours that day.
     
  4. SongshiQuan

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    Hi Fan of Tessen. I own(and hopefully will eventually breed) Chow Chows. Not Pekingese I know, but I know how great the East Asian breeds are. I've had to put down a Chow dog at just 5 years old due to degenerative structural problems(I was pretty new to the breed at the time and chose the wrong breeder). It's heartbreaking. Like Chows, I know Pekes are super loyal. You didn't forget about him and he wont' forget about you. He's waiting for you over the Rainbow Bridge. Stay strong man, time heals all wounds, but you'll have the memories to cherish forever.
     
  5. Fan of Tessen

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    @mobrien1993
    Thank you. Yeah there are a lot of memories, in fact me and my mom were planning to put together a photo album of him, should be fun. And I will definitely pay close attention to my girl so that shes always happy.

    @mbanema
    Thank you. I'm sorry for your loss too. By the way what kind of dog was she? Me and both my dogs are also a few months apart but we all share the same date the 13th.

    @SongshiQuan
    aww Chow chows are so cute and fluffy. Sorry you had to lose it at such a young age, I wish you much success with your next one. Yeah he was definitely loyal, and I will always without a doubt cherish those memories. Thank you
     
  6. mbanema

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    My dog was a golden retriever. She was amazing but could no longer walk at the end.
     
  7. mobrien1993

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    That's a great idea. If either of you guys are into scrap booking there are several craft stores with really cool decorative paper, stickers, etc of pets that you could put in the album. When my first two dogs were younger I took a bunch of their pictures and made a photo memory quilt made up of their baby pictures, their going on eight now but i still have it.
     
  8. setnyx

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    when my black cat Binx died i cried for months everytime i saw a cat anywhere and my other cats missed him too. it's great that you can share this sadness with.
     
  9. katwat

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    I have had a few of those long lived furry babies that have passed away. I had my sister Lucky who was a chihuahua mix that was a fat spoiled rotten sweetheart that lived for 13 years before passing away. It was over 22 years ago that we lost her but it is still a loss that is felt.

    More recently I had my babies Piggy, KiCat and Lady.

    Piggy was really my baby. He was a wee Yorkie/Chihuahua mix. I got him when he was barely weaned. He fit in my hand with his nose touching the tip of my middle finger and his rump on my wrist when I brought him home. He used to curl up in my hair, nestled between my shoulder and neck and reach up and nurse on my ear lobe. I had him for 15 years and lost him to cranial cancer. He was also cared for and nursed along for quite some time until one day the pain just got too much for him and I had to call the vet. The day I was to take him to the vet he had a surge of strength and energy that was so joyous to see but wore off right before it was time to go. It was like he had one final hurrah. Hell, I am crying right now thinking about it. I still feel him curled up against me and whenever I am sad or crying I can feel him licking away my tears like he did for all those years.

    KiCat was also a harsh loss. He also died from cranial cancer. KiCat was Piggy's Christmas present when he was a year old. Yes, we gave the dog a kitten for Christmas. LOL They were best buddies forever. When Piggy got sick KiCat stayed curled up against him all the time and kissed and kissed him when he was in pain. After Piggy passed, KiCat became very attached to me like he was on orders from the Pig to take care of Mommy. When KiCat passed the house really felt huge and small all at the same time.

    Right after Piggy died I swore I was never getting another furry baby ever. We already had two other outside cats and two large dogs. I thought "I will harden my heart so they don't hurt so much when they die. I love the big dogs and the outside cats but they have never been Piggy and they have never been KiCat. I can do this." About six weeks after Piggy died I heard a noise outside and opened the door. At the bottom of my porch steps was this ragged looking thing. I thought it was someone's puppy running through my property and I did the "shoo go on get home" thing at first then I notice the dog's posture. It was barely standing. This ragged looking thing was completely on it's last legs. I called my husband and we checked it out and it was obviously starving and very ill. Since I cannot stand to see anything suffer I took her in. After a load of medicine, warnings from the vet that it was probably a lost cause, and a lot of vet bills she pulled through. My "ragged puppy" turned out to be about 8-11 years old, very likely to have been a puppy mill mama, and had escaped from a "dog shelter" where the guy running things was torturing the animals. She lived through hell and found me. I KNOW for a fact that Piggy sent her. She needed me but I needed her as well. She healed my heart. She really did. I never ever cared as deeply for her as I did for Piggy (because he was a special case for me) but I did care for her very much. I remember the day about six months into having her that she got secure enough to bark. It was the very first bark from a dog in six months. She was that messed up from all the hell she had been through. She preferred hiding in a small pet carrier to being out in and open room. It took nearly a year to teach her that she could go outside to potty instead of just going and lying in it. She was a mess but with love and care she wound up having a happy life for her remaining years. We lost her this past spring. She was so old and got stiff and tired. I held her while she had a series of strokes in my arms. She passed feeling the warmth of my body. It hurts but I know she died happy and safe after having a horrible beginning in life.

    About a month after losing her we were driving home in the dark. We were in the middle of nowhere, just a stretch of road where there are no homes at all. Running down the road towards us, right between our headlights, was this little dog. My husband nearly went off the road trying not to hit her. We wound up stopped in the wrong lane of traffic. Fortunately the only other car on the road was far enough away that they did not hit us. We got back onto our side of the road and the other car started moving and the dog ran towards their lights. My husband opened the door and called and this little mutt just jumped into the car ran right across his lap and into my arms. It was like she said "HI you love me don't you." She started kissing me and that was it. LOL Some evil ass had dumped this pretty little dog on a highway in the dark. Again, I am sure that Piggy worked some mojo to get this doggy in need to me so I could help her and she could help me. All the things that made Lady harder to connect with (age, fear, lol-smell) are missing with Sunny. Sunny is young, cuddly, playful, goofy and oh-so-very loving. She is helping to heal my heart.

    Neither Sunny nor Lady have taking the place of Piggy or KiCat or Lucky or any other sweet love I used to have, but they have helped to heal the hurt with their need of my care and the love they give in return. It is still hard thinking of the babies I have lost. It still feels like a piece of my heart is missing when I think of Piggy in particular. Time helps. New babies help. The thing that helps the most is knowing that Piggy is not hurting. KiCat is not hurting. Lucky and Lady and Baby and so many others are not hurting or tired or sick anymore. It does get better. It gets easier to remember the good times and to soften the memories of the bad ones.
     
  10. Fan of Tessen

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    @mbanema
    aww golden retrievers are pretty ^_^

    @mobrien1993
    lol lucky for me I do work in a craft store! now I'll finally be able to put my employee discount to use...( I haven't bought anything since I started working...lol). and aww the photo memory quilt sound like such a cute idea!

    @setnyx
    I think all loses are hard, and thank you for sharing ^_^ oh question your black cat Binx was it named after the cat from the movie Hocus Pocus?

    @katwat
    Thank you for sharing your story ^_^ its cute a dog getting a kitten for Christmas, at least they got along. You and Sunny were destined to be together. and yeah I don't think any one pet can take the place of another... instead its like they each get their own pedestal in your heart.