My family has started a war over my double major

So yesterday I had to make my obligatory phone call to my family back home, and that was a disaster. It mainly consisted of my dad angrily demanding that I scrap my plans to do a double major and take classes toward my second major over the summer, come home and spend 4 months in hell, and then come back to WMU in the fall.

Buuuuuullshit. There is no way in hell that I'm spending 4 months with the sperm donor, just so he doesn't have to take time off work when my mom and grandma are in Ireland. My mom has been complaining about not having the money for tuition, yet was able to magically come up with $3600 to spend two weeks in Ireland with my grandma this spring.

Anyway, I've already gone down to the advisor's office and officially added my second major. (I'm primarily an Aviation Flight Science major, and I'm going to add an Aviation Management and Operations degree, as well as a business minor when I'm a junior) That's 40 extra credits, and over 4 summers, that's 10 credit hours per summer. That's a very easy courseload. And even better, a bunch of these credits can be taken over at the local community college here in Kalamazoo at $88/credit hour. That's affordable, and I'm going to pay for it myself.

Yet no matter how many times I show them the numbers, both of my parents are screaming that I have to come home this summer and do nothing, and worse, suffer for four months with the asshole that treats me like a verbal punching bag.

When I called my mom and said I'm making an executive decision and am going to register for classes, she gave me this huge speech about living expenses (Which I've already planned for) and that "once you say the things you want to say to us (cutting them out of my life), you can't take them back. And that's my worst fear is that you'd just cut ties and never come back."

And of course, she has to take advantage of the main conflict: Though my dad emotionally and verbally abused me for 18 years, she wants me to just ignore all of that and take his money gladly for college. She says "What you call bound to us, most other people call it a blessing"

I understand that, but most people don't have such a toxic relationship with their parents that they gladly let them help out and have a decent relationship with them, like my boyfriend does with his parents. Simply put, I don't want their damn money. I understand how much debt I'm going to be taking on, but fuck it. I can't stand this anymore. It's for my own sanity.

So now she's going to "talk to my dad about it," and we all know how that's going to end. I don't know how she got him to agree to let me to go WMU when he demanded that I turn down my admission and go to some local community college and stay home for two years so that he could still control me. She went to bat for me then and won, but even if she does the same, I have a feeling that this time, she's going to strike out. And if that's the case, I originally thought I could postpone this whole thing, but I may have to cut ties now. I wanted to do it at the end of the semester, but I thought later that I could wait a while, or only cut ties with my dad.

:help:

 

Sorry to bump this, but I need some advice on how to handle this.

 

Yes, I want nothing to do with either of them, really. My mom is very disapproving towards my sex life/orientation (she's figured it out for herself though I've never told her or ever plan on it.) I just need a break from her.

 

Yes and no. I've taken on some debt already in paying for school, but they're basically just there for everyday living expenses, and maybe half of the tuition/room and board.

I told him that and he got all agitated and said, "Well you have no choice!" and then some other things that I don't care to repeat. Basically, even if he's telling the truth, that he only wants me home because he'd have to take time off work to get my brother from school while my mom's in Ireland, that's still a really selfish reason to do this sort of thing. But that reaction makes me wonder if he'll come out here and try to kidnap me if I won't go home willingly.

I feel like the only way I'm ever going to achieve my goals is to cut them our of my life. I don't have a problem with finding employment and that sort of stuff, because it's still better than the alternative. My mom also wants me to file for disability because I have Asperger's and let the government give me money for nothing. Ugh.

So I just have to keep planning and make sure to do this right. I thought I could reconnect with my mom later, but she's decided that that's not an option. Good, because I don't tell her anything about my life at all, and even before I left, she ran around complaining to her sisters that she didn't know anything about me anymore.