So today my mom decided to come over to my house and visit....now my mom hardly ever visits me due to her disagreeing with who I am. But she showed up today, walked into my house without knocking, and started staring at me. I said hey, she crossed her arms and scowled at me. Then my dad arrives at my house and at least he knocked. I said come in, he came in. The two of them started yelling at each other about me as if I wasn't even there. Then my mom looks over at me and calls me a...well...she called me a "faggot dyke wannabe". Then my dad yells at her telling her to quit that I am still her kid. She yelled at him saying "that THING is not my child!" Long story short she ended up throwing one of my small candle holders and it hit me in the cheek. My dad yanked her out and told her to leave my house or he's leaving her. He asked if I was okay and I said yeah while putting a few tissues against my cheek that has a small cut now. He apologized then said they can't be a part of this life I've chosen then left. I have no idea what to even think right now... I don't want to be here right now..
Woah, that is absolutely terrible. :icon_sad: I'm relieved that your father at least has an ounce of compassion, but I'm so, so sorry to hear that your parents have failed you in such a profound way. Parents can make a whole lot of mistakes, but the one uncompromising responsibility they have is to provide their children with unconditional love. I have a feeling this isn't a decision your dad would make on his own, but your mom sounds like an absolutely toxic person who has probably poisoned his mind. For his sake and for yours I hope he realizes what a colossal mistake he's making and chooses you over your mother. If he's already threatening to leave her I think there's some hope in that regard. I know it's absolutely no consolation whatsoever, but in the long run you will be better off without that woman in your life. It's absolutely unforgivable that she would say something like that to you and even worse that she would cause you physical harm. You say you don't want to be there right now -- I think it would be a good idea to go somewhere else if at all possible. Do you have a close friend you could stay with for a couple of days? Any money saved up you could use for an emergency vacation? You deserve to be surrounding by people who value and care about you, even if those people are supposed to be your family. Please try to stay strong.
Unless they separate or she dies, my dad will side with her sadly. I honestly don't understand what I did to deserve what she does. And I'm in the process of trying to save up enough to go back to Florida and live with a few of my friends. I hate this....why can't people see what they do and say hurts others
The most important thing is to understand that you didn't do anything at all to deserve what your mom did to you. As her child, there is nothing you could ever do to justify anything close to that. She has failed you, not the other way around.
you have to kill the beast In all seriousness try talking to your dad alone. Maybe you can reason with him.
(*hug*) That's terrible, no one on this earth deserves to be treated that way. I'm going to give you some advice, and I very much doubt it's the advice you want to hear, but I think you need to hear it. Your mother is a lost cause, so my honest advice is, cut her out of your life altogether. As for your father, try getting him to meet you for coffee alone. Tell him the truth, that if your mother is there, you'll leave. Once you have him alone, talk to him and try to reason with him. Be logical and stress that you are who you are. One way to do this is to say, "Asking why I am who I am is like asking why water is wet. It just is." If that coffee-with-dad goes well, see if you can stay close to him and avoid your mother. If he can't do that, then this is where the hard advice begins: cut them both off. I couldn't tell from your post if they have keys to your place, but if they do, change the locks. You deserve to be around people who will support you and love you unconditionally. If your parents can't do that, they don't deserve your time. Stay strong, and know that you have a gay guy near Toronto silently rooting for you. (*hug*)
What you're going thorugh sucks, and there's no way to justify it, make it right, or make it OK. I can't imagine what it must be like hearing that from your parents. Here's something to keep in mind: Depending on how long ago she found out... what you could be seeing here is the normal (albeit stronger-than-normal expression) stages of loss (denial-anger-bargaining-grief-acceptance.) People do sometimes get violently angry when dealing with a child's coming out. It's a combination of the perceived loss, fear, and loss of control. And in your mother's case, it sounds like she's lacking in impulse control, which makes it that much more difficult. So I think -- again, depending on how long she's known -- that this could be part of her processing the "loss" in her eyes and coming to terms with who you are. I wouldn't give up yet. It might take months or even a year or two, but I've seen people with this sort of very strong reaction come completely around over time.
