I just "got it." I have been stressing off and on for several hours but not really sure what about. It just hit me what the problem is. My mom brought up earlier this afternoon that my sister, her two daughters, the older daughter's boyfriend and two kids might be coming up here for a short visit soon. Okay, probably wont happen because it is all dependent on my older niece supposedly getting a really big tax refund and her funding the whole trip. Last few years she has been "getting a big refund" and something has happened every year that shows she made a mistake or some debt claimed the money or something. The only year she actually got money she blew it in two days and went back to begging money off of everyone she knows. The fact that she would be funding the trip really puts it in the "probably not going to happen" category. The things that are just pissing me off (short list - lol) are that if my niece is getting a big refund it would really be nice if she would pay back some of the money my mom lent her years ago that has never ever been paid back. It would also be nice if she paid back my sister but also will never happen. If by some miracle it did though it would really be nice if my sister paid back some of the over 2,000 bucks she mooched off of my mom a couple years ago and has not paid one cent towards since. But, okay. Instead of paying back the people who helped you keep a roof over your head and food in your kids' bellies take a trip. That brings up where the hell will they stay while they are here. NOT WITH ME FOR A SECOND for starters. I could not even put up with my sister in my house or her youngest kid for that matter. I definitely will never let my older niece or her boyfriend step foot on my property. I really do not want either of them even knowing where I live. Sounds bad but it is true. My sister I dont want around because she and I just do not get along well at all. Her youngest daughter is LOUD. Constantly, consistently speaking at FULL VOLUME ALL THE TIME. My great niece and nephew I have not been around in years so have no clue how they act anymore so no opinion. My older niece and her boyfriend however.. whew! He is a mean drunk. She is a pot head that has sold crack at one point. Them having drugs on them is a given. Them sneaking that shit into your house is pretty well a given too. Top it off my niece is a thief. She has stolen medications, money, and anything she can get money out of from everyone she has ever known. So, no thank you. Go visit someone else. The thing is I dont have to worry about any of them being in my home for several reasons. The first is my husband would rather shoot them than say hi to them and they pretty well feel the same about him. He has done the evil deed of telling them all what he thinks of them on more than one occasion and they don't appreciate that kind of thing. The second would be that only my sister and maybe her youngest daughter MIGHT try to be social and come over to my house but she would know not to stay over. The third (and most beautiful) is I have a very small home with no guest room and furniture that is for sitting not sleeping in my living room (YAY!) so no where for anyone to stay. The fourth, being the most crappy, is they already have said they would stay at my mom's house. Now this is wonderful for me in that I don't have to tell them "F7*% No you are not staying here" but sucks because my mom wont tell them that. Today she was a nervous wreck trying to figure out how she could fit them all in her house and planning for all the things she would have to hide to keep my older niece from stealing from her. (This chick can pick locks!) So, if they come the stay with mom. Older niece and her bf will likely try to bring drugs onto my mom's property. O.N. will likely be trying to steal stuff. ALL of them talk at high volume. LOVELY! My mom is old. Not feeble and sickly but old. She is like a lot of older people and very set in her ways. She does things her way in her time and hates to have that messed with. I and my daughter are the only people she does not get upset with (although I think she gets a bit impatient with me but never mad at me.) She is stressing so much at the thought of PEOPLE (didn't we spray for those?) She gets upset easily and either blows her stack and then feels guilty forever, or she holds it in and just gets really really hurt and depressed and resentful. She has a lot of things that trigger her. I KNOW those things and do my best to buffer them. I help her keep her stress levels as low as possible and I am her person to vent to when things get rough. It helps. It works. Adding all these people, even for a couple days, is just going to cause utter chaos. Top all that off my mom is poor and none of these people would even think of doing something like buying some food to feed themselves while there were at her house or dropping a 20 to help cover all the extra water that will be used by six extra people taking showers and stuff. So mom will be stressed, depressed, and broke. I will get to pick up the pieces and pay the bills that she wont be able to afford to pay. Now dont get me wrong. I NEVER regret helping my mom and would help her way more if I could afford it. I do get pissed at the thought though of footing any bill for these people who have never done anything to help mom out and have a history of taking and never paying back. Them I don't want to pay for at all but to cover mom that is what I will wind up doing. Have I mentioned that I am freaking well poor too? So, they might come. Don't know. Hope they don't and feel guilty because of that B.S. "it's family" reason. If they come it will be an annoyance and a disturbance and will set my mom off on a spiral that will take me ages to straighten out. It will some way wind up hitting my budget and my husband will hit the roof if that happens. Yeah, come visit. JOY!
