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my mother...a 3rd time!

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Claudette, Feb 6, 2014.

  1. Claudette

    Claudette Guest

    Hey all! I'm again having issues with my mother...nothing huge... Just her trying to understand things I suppose...
    She's been bugging me about seeking Testosterone instead of Estrogen... The latter I've already started...i really really don't want to seek testosterone....she thinks it will suppress my femininity, and make my depression stemming from my dysphoria vanish... I'm not happy in a male shell.
    She's my main support figure with my whole trans status... When she questions me like this, it makes me sad...and I start to doubt myself...even though deep down I know I was meant to be a female
    .how can I make her understand without breaking her heart?
     
  2. BookDragon

    Full Member

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    Location:
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    Gender:
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    Gender Pronoun:
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    Sexual Orientation:
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    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    My mum told me the same thing. 'We should get you more testosterone and this will go away'. I pointed out that if nothing else my rage issues should prove I'm not lacking testosterone...

    You can't break her heart by telling her it doesn't work that way. It's not like it's even just your opinion it's not even scientifically or medically viable. Nobody is going to pump you full of dangerous levels of testosterone just to over-power a 'feminine urge'
     
  3. Claudette

    Claudette Guest

    Thanks Ellia ^^ you're like 1 of 4 people I can depend on for advice with MTF issues ^^
     
  4. rocketgurl99

    rocketgurl99 Guest

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    Have you flat out told her that you want to be a female? Have you told her that no amount of testosterone is going to change that you want to be a woman? It seems to me she is looking for the testosterone to "cure" you of that urge. She is holding on to it. No amount of male hormones is going to change your desire, all in all it will just make you more aggressive, angry and depressed over trying to change who you really are. I don't know the details of what you have told your mom, but I would think at this point it is time to be 100% honest about what you really want and need to be happy. I have a friend who recently started the FTM process and he was making excuses to his family about everything. For example telling them that this was what the doctor said, that his hormones were messed up instead of just saying "THIS IS WHAT I WANT" and when he finally said that his family got a little more open to it. Good parents just want their children happy at the end of the day. I hope that helps. Good luck.
     
  5. Claudette

    Claudette Guest

    Yea, I just told her this morning, no amount of testosterones will bury the woman inside, I'm embracing her, can't you as a daughter?
     
  6. rocketgurl99

    rocketgurl99 Guest

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    I hope she was able to embrace you when you told her. I would think that you should just say that truth to anyone else that may be have questions or who you tell in the future. You are who you are.....no need to use doctors or hormones as a crutch. I hope it all works out. Also, maybe if she isn't able to fully embrace your decision yet (give her time) maybe it is time for you to seek another main support system. Is there anyone else you can seek support from?