My straight guy friend is in love with me

This friendship will only get harder if you don't put your feet down. You're saying he has low self esteem which is why he's holding on to you. It's probably because you're the closes thing he can get to that is a girl, even if you're gay. If it's been dragging on for that long and he's still attached...then you should say something or back off for a little. Trust me, even though you think it'll hurt him...in the long run you got nothing to offer for him. See it from this perspective... what if he was married to you and you were never out of the closet and he didn't know you were gay? The longer you wait, the worst it'll get right? Its only going to get harder on him and frustrate you at the same time. In the end both side will be hurt and the friendship could even lead to a bad ending. That's why it's better to speak up in the beginning. Be clear, try not to hurt his feelings and back off slowly. Hope this helps. Good luck!

 

Another option would be helping him with girls. Smething that could help your friendship would be complicity, tell him, hey! You want a girlfriend, i want a girlfriend, lets go find girls, i help you and you help me!. And everytime you see an attractive girl you could comment "look, how beautifu/hotl she is"

Im telling you this cause it worked for me, i was in love with a lesbian friend of mine, and what helped me the most was her complicity. Love or lust for someone while your friend shares those same feelings for that person you are looking at, what happens is a sense of mischievousness and complicty that fits with friendship and sense of companionship.

To sum up, the cure for loving a woman, usually can be another woman, or a some women. He doesnt have to fall in love with another woman, he just have to:

1- see that there are more women in the world, and realize that you are not the only one.
2- getting some clarity and losing the false hopes he have toward you requiting his love.
3-getting to enjoy the friendship as just a friendship.

Note: i dont know if it could work with your friend, im just saying it worked for me. You could try it to see what happens, but if it doesnt work then you probably will have to go with what previous poster said. Me and him, we are different person, so the results could be different. My self steem could be considered low, but maybe his is lower than mine, and maybe mentality and hsi are different, so i cannot know what the result will be.

 

I'm actually in a very similar situation. My best guy friend, whom I've known for about four years, broke up with his girlfriend last Wednesday night. The next morning, he came and confessed he'd actually had a crush on me for the past three years without realizing it. My first thought was that I was rebound after his recent breakup... but he was still really embarrassed by this and REALLY wanted to date me. However, he had dated two of my friends. No way I'd date him. He managed to get over it, but something tells me he still has feelings for me. The last time I mentioned his crush, he got really awkward, despite the fact he's reconnecting with his ex.

However, since he initially didn't understand why I couldn't date him after two of my friends did, I rejected him by making it more about his feelings, rather than mine. I said that since I wasn't over my ex-girlfriend and didn't have any feelings for him, dating him would be lying to him. He deserved someone who actually loved him. I also mentioned how he was still one of my best friends, and I appreciated him knowing basically everything about me and still hanging out with me afterwards.

It's really difficult to get over that awkward feeling. You just have to decide if you're able to move past it for the sake of the friendship, or if it's just too much for you. Hopefully my story helped, and I hope things get better for you!