And it worries me,he shows small signs of being homophobic,and I thought he would be better than this. He claims he's not homophobic,but says he wouldn't drink with one as he doesn't trust them,and he thinks they'll try to turn him gay while he's vulnerable. I said it's not all gay people that do this, and he shrugged. He then showed me a few threads on a forum,as a reason why he doesn't trust them - Do you find it odd that gays do this? - Yahoo Answers including the link above,which made me wonder,is there a chance he made that thread himself of if he just can't make a opinion for himself,and is going by what he reads. Is he truly homophobic or is he just believing stuff he read on the internet,also,what will think of me when he finds out?
he could be but this is your chance to change that. bring up common sense points and see how he reacts. Homophobia is mainly caused by ignorance, enlighten him
No one can turn someone else gay or straight. Of course, people can have sex with anyone (and anything...) without having attraction, but most research has shown sexual orientation is determined by genetics or at least fixed by a young age. So, if your brother is afraid of being turned gay when he's vulnerable, maybe he's admitting he sometimes has same-sex attractions. Obviously, you should not tell him that, but you should act like being gay/bi is okay.
I've registered on this website just to respond here. Yes, this is homophobic of your brother. Why do people seduce people? Why do straight men keep trying to seduce girls even after they say no and show no interest? Being homosexual has NOTHING to do with why someone would want to seduce someone, or why someone would continue to seduce someone after being rejected. There are a lot of disrespectful, stupid and rude homosexuals, just as there are a lot of disrespectful, stupid and rude heterosexuals. Let me explain something more to you. Straight (or "straight") men, particularly the more insecure and less intelligent ones, are terrified of being considered or even considering themselves gay, because it is the ultimate threat to their masculinity. They don't experience this fear; they repress it, push it to the back of their minds and don't think about it. If they don't think about their gayness being a possibility then they will feel normal, and like the man they've always wanted to be. Never underestimate how much patriarchal values have seeped into even elementary school male-male social values; to boys the very definition of "cool" is to be manly and strong, and not "gay" or "pussy". People tend to think homophobia must only refer to active hatred of other homosexuals, but hating the idea of homosexuality is also homophobic in a milder way. It is harder to realize and harder to avoid because of social norms. If a man knows he is truly not attracted to other men he would not be so bothered by another man trying to seduce him. It might even be very flattering for him. And if he were to end up having sex with a man, in a world without homophobia it wouldn't trouble him too much, it would be just like having sex with a girl who wasn't so attractive. It may be that your brother is so bothered by the notion of a gay man hitting on him because he actually believes he might be prone to becoming gay, something he doesn't want to be. I mean, come on. "turn him gay"? Really? Also, it is classic to say that this fear of being gay must mean he is in fact gay, and it is common for gay men to experience that feeling of denial and repression and live in internalized homophobia, but such homophobia exists in straight men too; they all have to grow up in that environment of manly being cool and gay being unmanly, so just because it bothers him doesn't necessarily mean he's repressing homosexual tendencies. But I also believe that gender is not always so relevant, that sexuality is very fluid (as evidenced by bisexuals having long phases of liking only one gender) and the chance of being 100% straight or 100% gay is nil. Perhaps it is these same beliefs which make gay men hope that they can convert straight men. But come on now, this barrier straight men eventually put up, the barrier of "I would never even drink with a gay man because this is impossible to deal with", is not due simply to their being straight but due to homophobia. A woman can reject a man, a man can reject a woman, a man can reject a man and not say that sexual orientation has anything to do with it. I am sure your brother wouldn't be nearly as bothered if an unattractive girl tried to seduce him. This is less common probably not only because men tend to play the seducer roles more but because it is harder for an attractive man to realize why something which attracts him might not attract someone else than for an unattractive person to realize how they are being unattractive (maybe maybe not, I'm just hypothesizing here). I agree also with bde9000 that homophobia is mainly caused by ignorance.
It's probably what he reads on the internet that's creating this phobia. I doubt he has any first hand experiences himself to back up this claim. Continue to talk him out of it. I assume you're out to him? Oh, and Yahoo Answers is about the worst place to find answers. It should be called Yahoo Opinions.
