I hate readjusting everything with a (straight male) friend. He's one of my closest friends (who has supported me and been a great ally), just pisses me off sometimes. I'll just share a conversation I had with him online; it's a little crude because I'm crude. I thought it was in good humor but maybe it wasn't... me: "hows the weather out there?" him: "oh just sunny, 80 degrees, you know" me: "oh really? not slushy and 20 and windy and icy? oh. must be nice." him: "haha that sucks for you!" me: "it's ok i licked a vagina last night i can't complain" him: "gross. nobody talks like that." OK OK... I get that it was a little over the top but I've made jokes like that in the past and he's not particularly prudish; and I feel that it was condescending of him to say "nobody talks like that" because what do I give a shit what other people talk like? What does that have to do with this conversation?! Am I out of line for thinking this might be slight homophobia or something? Exhibit B: he tells his gay girl friends that if they were straight he would totally bang them, as a complement. which is just... a little creepy/weird. He's never said that to me, maybe I'm not hot enough for him to be comfortable hearing about my sex life. Again, am I out of line?! I can be a social weirdo sometimes and I get that, but c'mon. I guess what I really feel is unfair is (and I HATE pulling this card but) that if I were a guy that kind of crudeness is tolerated but being a girl I'm not supposed to talk about it. Or maybe this guy is more prudish than I thought. But if I said something like "I sucked a D last night can't complain" it wouldn't be as bad. Maybe. OK and IF it was a little sexist/homophobic of him, how best do I tell him why I was pissed off? (in addition to never telling him about my sex life ever again)
I'm guessing by the lack of response people would probably side with my friend. He's more like most people than I am.
Maybe a bit of a double standard guys can say things like that or maybe he thought it was uncharacteristic of how he thought u would sayy Hard to tell ---------- Post added 16th Feb 2014 at 09:46 AM ---------- Maybe a bit of a double standard guys can say things like that or maybe he thought it was uncharacteristic of how he thought u would sayy Hard to tell ---------- Post added 16th Feb 2014 at 09:46 AM ---------- Maybe a bit of a double standard guys can say things like that or maybe he thought it was uncharacteristic of how he thought u would sayy Hard to tell
In relationship, girls can afford throwing tantrums. If you are pissed off, just splash some juice in his face
My first thought was that he was just being a prude or insulting your word choice rather than it being because you're a woman talking about a woman. Obviously I don't know him, that's just the vibe I got. As for the other stuff...eh, that's a lot of men for you lol personally, I wouldn't take it to heart, but let him know that it kind of offended you or threw you off a bit.
