I need some advice about my parents

If your dad says he's done then what does that mean?


Personally, I'd talk to your sister...see what she thinks of the whole thing.

EDIT: Don't leave. Not trying to be funny but even if you did run away for ever "Dad says he's SO done" isn't exactly 'I can never go home'.

 

Well that certainly puts a spanner in the works.

Then honestly, I don't know. I still say don't run away, because I mean it, when it comes to getting support when you have no home to go back to "Dad says he's DO done" really isn't going to go very far. After all, it's not like he's said you CAN'T live in his house, just that you don't want to. I realise that isn't exactly fair, but it does seem to be the way it works.

Unfortunately, in my case, sexuality never came up when I was growing up. I had one girlfriend for a bit at 16 and then never mentioned it so it would be all to easy for me to say just don't bring it up again, but I know that isn't going to be much help. Or at least, even if it helps, it isn't going to feel good.

 

Is running from home really an option? Where will you stay? Sleep? Where will you get money for food? For a health care?
Is there a LGBT center in your area?

 

For how many years? And what about their parents? How would you pay for rent and food?

 

I know it sucks, but I think that you should wait and talk to your sister. You can open a new FB account and access it from your phone or better from a public library or internet café or from your friends' computers or phones.
Study hard and do your best to leave for a high school (if you are not there already) or for a university - to live on your own.
I am sorry your parents are not accepting.

 

I don't think he can kick you out of the house. As far as I know the authorities in the UK are almost ridiculously strict when it comes to kids' rights.
You will just have to find the way how to coexist in one household...

 

I am sorry (*hug*)

 

I have a pretty good idea how you're feeling right now and it's tearing me up really bad. :tears: :tears:

I wish I could understand how parents can be like this? Our children did not ask to be born, and they certainly did not ask to be gay. It's our responsibility as parents to love and care for our children. Anything less is at least neglect, and often this rises to the level of abuse; if not physically then emotionally. Try to find local resources to see if there's any thing that can be done. Since you're 14, I'm guessing it's not much different in the UK about your rights, so you may be stuck unless you have some resources lined up to vouch for your care and oversight. Every time I hear these stories, I'm just dumbfounded. :tantrum:


Hang tight, I hope things work out. No matter what be careful, be safe. Stay in touch.

-Rich

 

Let him believe that. It may be his way how to cope in the beginning.

 

So if ur patents are being so uncool, I guess it may be time to emotionally distance yourself. You know?

Are you dating? Are they supportive?

 

If this is all because your father thinks it is "just a phase" then just give it some time to boil over and let the bad blood fade. If you tell him again in a year or even a couple of months if you aren't able to wait that long, then he will understand that it is just a phase. Whereas parents may not understand as greatly as your sister might, once they see that this is who you are, always have been and will be, they will(/should if they have a heart) begin to understand piece by piece.

Let's say this turns taboo and no one speaks of it for a while, if you bring it back up in little while and they still have such a bad reaction, you could always give them the ultimatum of: accept your own son(/daughter, whatever way you may want to word that) or lose your relationship all together.

Just some insight on what hopefully doesn't get worse, good luck and keep us updated on how this goes

 

Your dad is mostly reacting because since your sister came out, and now you, he feels like he failed as a parent. My mom did the exact same thing with me, she thought that me having lesbian and bisexual friends influenced me and my brother thinks that I'm impressionable, hence they're somewhat in denial of the fact that I'm not straight. I came out as an adult, so she couldn't do things like attempt to deactivate Facebook. They believe I'm in a phase, not realizing I've felt indifferent towards the idea of dating guys since puberty, but didn't really acknowledge the idea of being lgbt until 18,19 and finally coming out partially at 23. I've given up on coming out again until I'm more assured of myself in relationships and can 100% support myself and am on my own. Mostly because she thinks that all I ever am is bisexual. Even if I so much as bring up a guy friend, she jumps to conclusions when in reality I am much closer to lesbian than bi.

You could try what I've been doing is finding some supportive friends who can be there for you, and give you the affection and support that your parents aren't giving right now. You could even try talking to your sister and bonding with her, she may even know some people you can come to and talk about things with. It has helped me tremendously, and I think it might be benificial for you as well. I suffer from anxiety, and when I came out I've had to deal with my mom being a lot similar to how your dad is reacting. She's never kicked me out, it's just become something we don't discuss. I can't come to her about any relationships and I've had to hide when I date because she gets really uncomfortable, and upset. I'd say look for more open minded friends, create a surrogate family, and find hobbies and interests that keep you busy so your mind isn't always on this. It's really hard when your parents are unable to accept you for you, I know from personal experience. Always be yourself, and don't let others define who you are. Stay safe!