Hello everyone, Here I am again. I am sure some people read my story less than two months ago, but here is the link if you missed it or want to read it before giving me advice on this one: http://emptyclosets.com/forum/family-friends-relationships/120207-help-me.html (it will help you understand the whole situation, so please read if you have some time) I am gonna try to keep it short. It got really complicated with my best friend couple of months ago since we both basically shocked each other and came out to each other. Again, you would need to read my previous thread to understand what really happened but basically now, almost 2 months after it all started, I have been struggling a lot with the whole thing. I fell in love with him really hard and I know he feels the same way even though he flipped out a bit after all what happened in a short amount of time between us. I study abroad, very far away from where we live, so I won't see him for another 3 months, which is very hard and I am not dealing with this quite well. I am so in love with him, that it hurts, and I have a feeling that nothing's is really gonna happen between us, because we are both deep in the closet (even though I think I would be willing to come out just because of him). I have been depressed for a month now and it's really bothering me. Soon it's gonna affect my grades and my life overall. My close friends have all noticed that, but I am obviously not ready to tell them about the whole thing. It's not just a crush guys, it's much more. What should I do? How to get over it? It would be so much easier to just get over it and just be best friends with him. I am kind of sick of being sad, depressed, lost etc. I only listen to sad love songs and if I have time, watch sad drama movies. I have never been like this, and I really don't want to be like this. My friends are worried, and I am worried too. There's got a be a way to get over this, right? I appreciate ANY help and advice from you guys. I really need this. I need someone who will understand and can relate. THANK YOU! (*hug*)
If you both feel the same way, why not try to make it work? This is like every gay guy's dream, man. You have a crush on your straight best friend, except he turns out to not be straight. AND he has a crush on you! Will it be difficult because both of you are closeted? Maybe. But don't you think it's worth it to give it a shot? I know I would certainly want to.
I want to so bad! It's killing me! He is a really private person and he never opens about about anything, well except to me, but this coming out thing and all the things that happened between us in a short amount of time, scared him I think. He is probably not ready yet. I would be willing to wait for him, but I feel like it might never happen... Is this depression gonna go away any time soon? People, even some of my professors ask if I am heart-broken or something. People can actually tell. And obviously my close friends and family. Should I just wait until I see him again when I go back home in couple of months or do something about it over Facebook/Skype? Any advice guys? THANK YOU! (*hug*)
I think you should tell him about how you´re feeling and maybe try and skype with him while you're abroad. I hope you feel better soon (*hug*)
I've never been that close to someone, so I can't really understand how hard it must be for you. But I do envy you, and yes, stay in touch with your friend if possible! Maybe even visit him or have him come over some time? I think you should give it a shot. No need to feel down before you've tried to make it work.
Your depression will go away. I had the same thing for a week or two. But u should try to make it work like Skype or have him visit so that you won't regret not trying to make it work. You should only come out when your ready not for somebody. Though u might start thinking about coming out. I hope it works out for you!!(*hug*) :icon_bigg
I understand what you are going through. My gf and I are both still very closeted but she is more closeted than I am. She really cares about what people think and say and at times it does hurt me bc sometimes I feel she will never come out and just be her true self. I have come out more to others but not my whole family. But you know the thing that is great about my gf and I is that we are both patient with each other and making sure we are there for each other regardless of the struggles. I believe that is important for you and your best friend to talk it through, especially that you both are having strong feelings for each other. You don't want to live the rest of your life supressing how you trully feel just bc of what others will think about you both. In the end it aint worth it. And another point I want to make, you have to make yourself happy first above all things. I know its easier said than done by saying pick up the pieces and move on. But continual allowing yourself to feel depressed and sad will not get you far. I ain't telling you to stop feeling sad, depressed or so. You have every right to feel those emotions, let them sink it but don't let it get to the point where it is slowly eating you up. Always remember that you are not alone. I wish you all the best, and I do hope you find all the happiness bc you deserve it. Sending my hugs xoxo
Thank you so much! You have no idea how much your response means to me. I am still a bit unsure about the whole situation, and maybe the best things is to talk about it all in person?! I will see him again in less than 3 months. Not sure Facebook is the best option here... but I do feel much better already. I don't think I am depressed anymore at all. Still think about him all the time but I feel more positive and I know that everything will work out somehow. I appreciate everyone's advice and kind words. I think you guys are the reason I feel much better! (*hug*)
You're very welcome. I'm glad you are feeling better. Sending you all positive thoughts and and lots of hugs. I hope you guys can be able to open up to your best friend when u get to see him in 3 months. Always remember that no matter what happens, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel.
