Hello. :icon_bigg I'm new here and have been wanting to join for a while, and note that I've been looking at this website for a while but afraid to sign up. Please treat me like you would anybody else. :lol: So, there's a guy who I am slightly confused about, although I like him. We've been friends for about two years already but I'm never confident enough to ask him about his sexuality. He doesn't know because I get really insecure about certain things, and telling somebody about my sexuality is one of those. We both play trombone, we both are great math students, it's like we're made for each other in my opinion. Seriously. In Band, he will brush his leg against mine and end up denying it, much like him touching my hand in the hallways and conclusively ignoring my reactions. I tell myself that I like him, then I tell myself I shouldn't be liking him. It may seem straight forward but it's not. He sprinted outside the Band room and waited for me, and when I asked him why, he said he didn't "want to look like a loner". Denial? I don't know. He'll put his hand on my knee sometimes and very quickly take it off. One moment, he'll be flaring signs that he is bi, but the next day, he'll completely change. I just recently have been liking him, and when I blush and get quiet around him, he asks why. Why? It's pretty obvious that I like him...
Hey-o, welcome to the EC! Well, I'll tell you how we usually tell people in these situations, one of the best/only things you can do is just come out to him. From there, things will go. But, don't ask him if he's gay/bi, don't ask him how he feels about you, and don't even tell him how you feel about him. Just come out to him (when you're comfortable) and just go from there. It'd probably be good to know where he stands on the whole sexuality debate as well. From what III hear, it seems like it COULD be plausible for him to feel something towards you. Though, I'd probably dismiss that one tidbit about him waiting for you outside the band room becaaauuuse, as a teenager, I can totally understand what he means about not wanting to look like a loner XD But all the other things SEEM legitimate
Will do. ^_^ but should I come out to him first or go into depth of his perception? I wouldn't entirely mind either way.. but I'd prefer to ask him first. I understand what you mean about "being a loner". In this generation, without people around, you're not socially respected (and verbally at that). Thanks for considering looking at my thread, and I'm not sure I should be thanking you but I guess I am.
Heh it's no problem man, we're all here to help! Now, when you say "go into depth of his perception" what exactly do you mean? If you mean asking him how he feels about you or asking him if he's bi/gay-- it's not that that would be a BAD idea, it just may be a bit riskier. If he IS bi/gay, but doesn't accept himself as such, for instances, he may be taken aback to have someone call him out on it, ya know?
Update time! Well, I recently figured out he is in a relationship, but he doesn't seem very dedicated. For example, my friend went to the movie with his girlfriend and my crush was in the same theatre. So, when they were talking (the three of them) he hadn't talked with his girlfriend at all. Almost ignoring her. At least that's what my friend told me. I haven't yet come out to my crush yet, but I want I when we put our instruments away together. I'm nervous about telling him, and I'm wondering if that's normal. Is it? Well, yet again, he has been brushing my arms and legs and hands. In fact, in my free time, he wanted to show me something so he put his hand on my shoulder further from him to get my attention, and, without being awkward, kept it there while he was showing me it. Did I pay much attention to it? Nope. I was blushing and awkwardly pulled away, saying I had to go to the bathroom. He seemed to enjoy touching my shoulder.. I feel like he honestly did. I just want to push him against a wall and kiss him.. but first I should ask about his opinion on sexuality. Thanks if you read this!!
