Hi I´m new here 21 years old college student. Closeted. I know there have been a lot of stories similar to this one because I have been reading about them but I decided to join the forum in order to receive your opinions on my specific situation because I just don’t know what to do. I like a guy and I want to know if I should tell him because I don’t think I can stand it anymore. I have been friends with this guy for about 3 years but I have developed a crush on him since we started becoming close. My feelings for him have become stronger because of what has happened in these past weeks. He usually spends the night around once a week and sleeps with me. The fact that he doesn’t seemed to be bothered by the way I touch him is what confuses me more. When we sleep he lets me hug him, rub his chest, we sleep with our legs cross, and we sleep in almost any way a couple would sleep. the only parts that I don’t touch are his privates out of respect. Like I said he doesn’t seemed to be bother by this but the next day he doesn’t say anything and acts all natural like it never happened. I´m afraid of asking him if he likes it or not. He also has a girlfriend so that is the main reason why I don’t think he´s into me. But if he isn’t into me why doesn’t he seem bothered when we sleep together all scooped up? I can´t stand it anymore should I tell him how I feel? I also don’t want to ruin our friendship we have been really closed friends, hes the person I tell my problems to and vice versa but I have never talked to him about these kinds of things. Sorry if I missed any points this is the first time I´m doing anything like this I have never told these types of things to anyone. Any advice would be great thanks!
You should probably come out to him, but I wouldn't tell him how you feel quite yet. That might be a little too much for him to handle at one time. What I've ascertained though is that you guys are basically cuddling on a pretty regular basis. What exactly does that mean? It's hard to tell. There is a chance that he doesn't really enjoy the cuddling but realizes that you do, so he puts up with it. There is also a chance that he enjoys it, but that doesn't necessarily mean he is gay. Straight guys can be weird like that. So for right now, I would just tell him that you are attracted to guys. One of two things will happen: 1. The cuddling and sleeping together will abruptly stop. That is probably a pretty good indication that he is straight. 2. The cuddling will continue. This complicates things a bit for you. Good luck though. I'm interested to hear how this turns out.
Yeah... He might just be doing it for your sake... If you stopped and turned around, would he turn around and cuddle you? I think coming out to him is a good idea if you think it's safe
thanks for supporting me guys, your suggestions are very helpful I think I will do it but probably after valentines day. @whiteshadow: what you mentioned reminded me that sometimes when I dont cullde him. he sometimes turns around and hugs me, but it only lasts a few seconds and then backs away. Or other times he puts his leg ontop of mine but same he backs away in a fewseconds thats when I turn around and start hugging him. what actually started the whole thing is that one time I woke up in the middle of the night with half of his body ontop of mine. so I decided to hug him but didnt seem to bother. by it. but now I do it as often as i can. @confused 1234: we do this about once a week over the weekend when he comes to spend the night. He usually does this because I always help him study he isnt the brightest person on earth so I spend most of the night tutoring him on our subjects, and I started finding it cute lol. Well I´ll keep you guys posted when something happens, which will probably be over the weekend ill hint him that i´m gay or something i don´t know. the good thing is that he is very open minded about it and I am sure he wouldnt mind if I was gay, although I think he would be surprsie.
Your tutoring is kind of a red flag for me. He may think this is what you like, so he sleeps with you so you'll continue to help him. I think honestly you need to set things straight and come out to him, so he will know that you have the potential to interpret his close touching in bed as more than platonic. Of course, he could also be interested in you, but you won't know for sure if you don't tell him anything.
@resu: thanks for your advice! I am planning to do what you said. Although I dont think this is happening because of the tutoring, ive known him way to long for him to think about me in that way, but sometimes people can surprise you jaja.
perhaps he needs closeness he may not be getting from his girlfriend. i would probably say to him, i glad your girlfriend doesn't get upset about you staying the night with your gay friend.
