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Met an amazing guy! deeply closeted help!

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Alrise23, Feb 13, 2014.

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  1. Alrise23

    Alrise23
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    I met this guy online a few days ago, and we have very much in common, and he's amazing. but I live at home with my (very) anti-gay parents, and don't have the means to be on my own right now, don't even have my own car. he lives in a town not very far away (about 40 minutes) but I don't really have any friends there, and going over to stay could be suspicious. also is your first gay relationship this intense! we've only meet 4 days ago but have talk about 6-8 hours a day for the past three days, through facebook snap chat and on the phone. I'm pretty much constantly thinking about him. and when I start to think he's not as into me as I am to him, he send me as massage saying he can't spot thinking about me, we keep telling each how amazing and awesome each other is are, and how badly we want to meet, to hold each other and be with each other (he is also partially closeted, out to a few friends not his family) and we are both virgins. also I'm am almost Irrevocably attracted to him. I have a partial cleft lip, and he doesn't care at all! he says how cute I am all the time! he is a little big, but somehow that just makes me more attracted to him then ever. and his face is is just drop-dead gorgeous. and he wants snap chats of me all the time, like I can't send him enough! sometimes when I think about being with him my body literally trembles uncontrollably. he came to me on the online site, he didn't have a profile pic, so I asked him to send me one. he did and the first pic I felt something very strong towards him. I was in a long term on and off relationship with a girl for about 6 years, I really like her a lot and we talked about getting married and having kids, but she never made me feel like this. I'm a pretty big porn watcher, but haven't even been able to look at an other guy. and it's not even "official" yet

    obviously if my parents find out I'm screwed, even worse they know I have "struggled" (so-called) with being gay in the past. so could somewhat easily get suspicious.

    so what I am asking is. our all first gay relationships this intense? am I more into him then he is to me? is love at first sight for real?
    and what in heavens am I going to do?!!
     
    #1 Alrise23, Feb 13, 2014
  2. robclem21

    robclem21
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    I'll take a crack here since no one else has responded yet. I think there are a few elements to your post/question that I can address quickly (as I need to leave very shortly).

    First off, congratulations on finding someone that makes you feel this way. It is definitely exciting to feel that way and you should enjoy it for as long as it lasts. I would agree that it very characteristic of a first love. Maybe even more so gay love because it may be the first time you can really truly be yourself and feel like someone is responding to who you are.

    There is no way to tell from your post if you are "more into him", but I can pretty confidently say he feels the same way back. Talking that much is pretty characteristic of the beginning of any relationship where you are getting to know each other and you are up in the clouds most of the time. Granted, it is not practical to maintain that forever, but the fact he is reciprocating at the moment is a good sign that his views on the situation are quite similar to yours.

    Personally, I don't believe in love at first sight. I think infatuation at first sight is more realistic and then you only being to love someone once you get to know their personality inside and out. You may never have feelings like you don't love them, but I don't believe you can fully appreciate and love someone until you know them for longer than 4 days... That said, don't take that comment as there is no where you can love him. Only you know what you feel, but I think you should be aware if you are giving yourself a true chance to get to know him without being blinded by the initial hormone spike that gets you excited. People end up in a lot of bad situations that way.

    Lastly, I think we need more information on how old you are, (maybe I didnt notice), or if you have your own means around (to visit) before we can help you out if this may work or not. You have a really big problem in your parents and being closeted definitely adds a large element of stress to any relationship which I can confirm first hand on multiple occasions. If you have your own independence a little bit it may be easier, but if your parents are nosy and into your life a lot I think you will struggle making this work. Just my advice, but more information may help.

    Good luck!
     
    #2 robclem21, Feb 14, 2014
  3. Alrise23

    Alrise23
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    I am 23 and he is 25, he lives with a gay roommate, and I can drive, but would have to use our family cars, I do drive to town by myself quite often but not a ton. my parents worry a lot, (as was in a car accident a year and a half ago) so like to know I am safe,) we are planing on meeting in a couples days. we talked for 3 hours on the phone last night, and kept sending messages until seven A.M. and maybe your right it wasn't love at first sight, but there is a deep connection, and yes he is totally as into me as I to him. I told him longed for him and right after he said I was perfect. I ask if he would come get me if my parents found out and he said he would. :icon_bigg I have never felt feelings this strong for anyone in my life.
     
    #3 Alrise23, Feb 14, 2014
  4. Alrise23

    Alrise23
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    by the way his room mate is a women.
     
    #4 Alrise23, Feb 14, 2014
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