My life story ( warning it's long...so long )

This is definitely going to be long winded. I'm only writing it out because I realized how sort of sporadic and crazy my life as a whole was. I'm curious about what kind of picture it paints as a whole. Feel free to comment or don't it's of little matter to me, I'm mainly writing this long-winded piece for myself. If you're curious it's my life story beginning to now.

This is gonna be difficult since my memories are sketchy in the area of childhood.

Spoiler

At the wonderful age of 3 or 4. I'll have to ask my mom because she likes to tell this story. As the story goes my brother thought it would be funny to convince me to open up the car door while the car was still moving. I of course was young enough to do it, and fell out of the car. ( yes I've fallen out of a moving vehicle ) I apparently hit my head or something I dunno. Anyways my mom said she didn't even believe my brother when he told her I feel out of the car, until she looked back and saw little old me running towards the car probably.

I'll kind of jump because this does need condensed a bit. My mom and dad apparently didn't like each other two much. I remember one time my mom got mad and threw a bowl of spaghetti o's at the wall, and another time she got sick of having to walk down a set of stairs to do laundry and chucked the basket down the stairs before sobbing. Needless to say around 6ish they got divorced. Funny thing about that, thanks to good old 'Christian' values I was fully convinced for the longest time my mom was going to hell for divorcing my dad

At first with mom gone it was just us and dad. I think she was busy building a new life for herself or something. I'm not really sure. She was just out of the picture for a little bit.

In second grade I guess my teacher had some vendetta against either me or my dad. They kept giving me F's on things, and eventually my dad just got fed up with it. He pulled me out of my school and moved me to a Christian Private school. I actually really liked that school though, I learned a lot, had a lot of friends, and it was a pleasant place to be even if you were indoctrinated on the daily there. I wound up an atheist so all's well

During the divorce period of my dad's life he explored new options. He started himself a business. 'The Garage' as we referred to it. I remember the very first day we went there. It was such a junk pile. There was no heat and it was winter. Me and my brother were freezing cold, and bored as hell waiting for my dad to do whatever it was he was doing. I was a little kid I barely remember.

My dad's garage kept him busy. Sometimes we had to stay there and help him with stuff. I think we did all different sorts of work there. Mostly picking up stuff, cleaning, and sometimes things like mowing. It sucked, but it's all good. We also got to watch T.V while we were there. Still...it was super boring -.-'

Most of the time though we wound up going to my grandma's house ( on my mom's side ). He'd drop us off there, and we'd spend all day watching T.V and playing video games. Whoot!

Eventually though he did find himself a girlfriend. For desire not to name name's I'll refer to her as 'The Crazy Lady' ( All will be explained ). My dad had three kids: me, my older brother, and my younger brother. She had four kids: S, the psycho, dumb dumb, and Cat. ( to keep names out ). Her oldest was S who was around my older brother's age, her second was the psycho, then Cat, then Dumb dumb.

Things get a little whack job crazy at this point. There was way too many kids and zero parental involvement. I spent most of my time hanging out with Psycho. I call him that because he was definitely not right in the head.

One time we were wrestling around, and I kicked him in the face. He stopped brought his hand to his nose, looked down at the blood and then just laughed. I don't know if you've ever heard a crazy person laugh before, but...it's bone chilling -.-'

Another time he chased me and my friend around the house with knife. That was terrifying. I eventually ran to the cabinet to get a knife so I could fight back. I was greeted with him standing on the other side of the room holding every knife in the house just staring at me...God he was crazy >.>

Despite that for whatever reason me and him hung out a lot. I guess because he wasn't always crazy, just sometimes he like went psycho nuts for no reason. We were branded 'the trouble makers' of the family. Though honestly I don't know why. In all respects we never really did anything that terrible.

I remember one time the Crazy Lady gathered us all around in the living room. She was mad because someone threw mac n cheese on some picture. She was convinced me and Psycho did it because we always got blamed for everything. She was getting fed up with no one talking though and threatened to kill all our pets. Yes, she was literally going to kill a bunch of dogs, an iguana, and a horse over mac n cheese. There's a reason I call her The Crazy Lady.

I don't really remember this part, but my older brother swears by it. I guess apparently at one point I made her mad about something. Instead of going with the usual punishment style she thought putting a boy in a dress to humiliate him would be a much better method of punishment. So at one point I was forced to cross dress as a punishment. I was likely around 10 during this time, if memory serves. She also made my little brother wear a diaper once as punishment. Again, crazy lady.

I don't feel like going too much more in depth about Crazy Lady so I'm shifting subject slightly. My dad and Crazy lady had a baby together. My little sister whom I shall call Angel because she's a sweetheart and I'm not up to coming up with a better fake name.

At this point Crazy lady had wrecked my dad's business and now 'The Garage' was being used as her antique store. Well needless to say with a Crazy lady in charge of eight kids, there was no need to hire workers. I remember doing lots of sanding, and staining, and general labor all day everyday for a good long while -.-'

Plus they were both too lazy to watch their own infant >.>

Me, S, and my older brother were in charge of watching Angel, and I know at least twice I dropped her because well I was a little kid, and I shouldn't have been watching a baby in the first place. Honestly, even to this day I'm afraid of holding babies because I have this fear that I'll drop them

Speaking of random fears. I'm afraid of any food I can't easily tell what's inside of it. One time Crazy Lady made food, and a cockroach literally crawled out of my dish. It was super disgusting and she was gonna make me sit there and eat something I had just watched a bug crawl out of. I refused, but to this day I can't eat anything that I don't know is bug free -.-'

Now I want to back track a little and talk about not Crazy Lady, and instead about my dad.

So when my dad first got 'The Garage' he bought an old arcade machine. While he'd gotten my brother a dirtbike. For me he decided on something, in my opinion, much cooler. He converted this old arcade machine into an emulator which played every single nes and zsnes game ever made. Some sega games too. We called it 'The Brain Rotter'. I loved that machine <3

Before he met Crazy lady we also had Pizza Fridays. That was fun. On Pizza Fridays we'd all hang out, eat pizza, and play video games. Good times man, good times.

Anyways...back to where I was.

Things didn't work out with Crazy Lady. So after their years together he ditched that prostitute ( interestingly enough thanks to an extended custody battle it was discovered that indeed she was a prostitute. I think my dad still even has a video her husband at the time recorded of her selling her body for cash). The custody battle in my opinion was a shame. A damn shame. My dad was in an uphill battle most of the way through just because he had a penis. -.- He did ultimately get full custody though and she wound up with supervised visitations.

It wasn't until they found evidence to suggest that maybe Angel was well..ummm...let's just say not good things were being done to her, allegedly. I don't think anyone knew for sure. Though I do remember she'd come back to our house and have horrible night terrors

During all this drama and nonsense I was back to grandmas for awhile. In all honesty I probably spent half my childhood at my grandmas house. Somewhere close for sure. So during this time it was back to cookies, video games, and T.V. I think a large part of my childhood was spent watching T.V. Lol

Anyways that's the bits and pieces I can actually remember of my childhood. So I'm gonna go ahead and jump to 14 now.

At 14 years old I got my first computer. First one that was 100% mine. I'd used, been around, and fallen in love with computers. This was the first one that was mine and mine alone. So much wasted life on that thing.

Anyways I started to browse around on the internet. I ultimately found my way to a 'Tails Prower' forum. Being that I loved the Sonic games, especially because of Tails. I signed up and thus began an interesting section of my life

Whilst on there my religiously inspired/taught homophobia began to bleed out. I got into an argument with someone via the wonderful web world where I chewed them out for being gay. This particular person wasn't too hard pressed to outwit me I guess. Ultimately I wound up letting it slip that I'd been experiencing 'not straight' thoughts myself. So after an argument turned into a coming out conversation I sort of wound up accepting the fact that I was bisexual

Well I was hardly prepared to come out to my family. I knew that they felt roughly the same way I had before about being 'not straight' so I wasn't wiling to experience that horrible torment. Instead I found my place to vent on my little forum. I'd made a bunch of friends there and it was what I did all day anyways.

Silly little me thought it would be a good idea to try an online relationship. I wound up with a nice boy that I'd met on the forum. We never actually did meet in real life though. So I don't know if that counts as a relationship. I count it though because in all honestly the emotional attachment was there for me.
I don't want this to drag on too much more so I'm trying to rush through to the end. My older brother snooped through my computer and found some our messages to each other. Of course he had to go run and tell my dad. If you want to know how that went...not good. -.-

My dad felt that internet was responsible for me being bi. I guess that somehow makes sense or something. He tried to ban me from the internet. Life I said before I had sorta gotten emotionally attatched to someone I met on a forum. So well that didn't sit well with me.

I was always sneaking onto the computer. It wasn't that super hard. He worked second shift at a factory so he was gone from the moment we got home from school until the moment we went to bed. So really his authority meant like virtually nothing. Me and my older brother were in charge of our little brother and we spent all day by ourselves xD

Well things didn't work out with my little online bf. I guess that should have been a given. To me it wasn't though, I was too young to realize it was stupid. He actually wound up ditching me for some random girl from the same forum xD

I was upset, heart broken even.

I really didn't have anyone to talk to about it, and I was already a little down because of my dad stuff. I actually had a little journal I kept back then. I guess in realistic terms it was a diary lol I remember I always signed it by cutting my hand leaving a bloody handprint on the end of every page.

So without someone to talk to, I feel into a depression, or maybe I was already in one. I don't know...

I receded fully into the internet. I found a neat little hiding spot from the world in sexual roleplays. Maybe not the healthiest addiction for teenage boy, but w/e it's a thing >.>

From here on out it's like 4-5 years of me in whatever bedroom it was at the time ( I moved houses a lot as a teen ) doing sexual roleplays on a laptop over and over and over again. I got into some pretty weird stuff by the end of it >.<

Then I came out of my depression and found EC

The end.

Actually there is more stuff, but it's already dragged on super super super super super super long...so I'm just gonna end it here. Welcome to most of my life

 

It was supposed to cover my whole life, but I got like to the fourth page and realized that wasn't gonna happen xD

 

Haha yeah I turned out alright.

It's a pretty interesting story for sure. I have a weird life -.-'

 

It's all good friend. That stuffs the past. Regardless of good or bad, it's all behind me so I try not to worry about it. Honestly though I didn't even mention my mom once in my rambles lol that's a whole nother interesting story to say the least xD